Adult Site Broker Talk Episode 162 with Sex Toy Expert Kim Airs

Speaker 1 (0s): This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker, and welcome to adult site broker talk, where each week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry And. we give you a tip on buying and selling websites. this week we'll be speaking with sex toy expert Kim Airs.

You've probably noticed our new podcast site at Adult Site Broker Talk dot com. It has a more modern look with easier navigation and more information on our guests, including their social media links. You'll find all that at Adult Site Broker Talk dot com. And we've doubled our affiliate payouts on ASB Cash. Now, when you refer sellers or buyers to us at Adult Site Broker, you'll receive 20% of our broker commission on any and all sales that result from that referral for life. You can either place a link to us on your site or refer buyers and sellers through an email introduction.

Check out ASB Cash dot com for more details and to sign up. We've also added an event section to our website at Adult Site Broker dot com. Now you can get information on B2B events on our website, as well as special discounts reserved for our clients. Go to Adult Site Broker dot com for more details. Now let's feature our property of the week. That's for sale at Adult Site Broker. We're proud to offer a site that has a comprehensive list of the finest strip clubs in the world.

The site has strip club reviews and discussions. It's been around since 1993. The current owner can provide the new owner with all the information needed to run the site. Members stay on for an average of 3.5 months. There's a total of 80 to 95 new joins and rebuilds a day. All the traffic is direct or from search, and 99% is from North America. No ads have been purchased, which is something the new owner could do to increase revenues.

There are several revenue streams that are currently not being implemented, including banner ads. These revenue streams could easily double or triple the monthly sales the owner is selling so he can take advantage of other opportunities. Only $750,000. Now time for this week's interview. My guest today on Adult Site Broker Talk is Kim Airs Kim, thanks for being back with us today on Adult Site Broker Talk.

Speaker 2 (2m 42s): Yay. Very excited to be back, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 (2m 45s): I'm excited to have you Now, Kim is a sexuality educator, sex toy expert, public speaker, blogger, and sex industry writer who combines her clear, concise sex education with a healthy dose of humor. She easily puts everyone at ease with her honesty and straightforward approach to a healthy sex life. She was the founder of New England's first female and couples friendly sex toys store Grand Opening when she left her job at Harvard to sell rubber dicks to girls.

Kim's been, I love that line. Kim's been featured in Boston, Magazine Marie, Claire Playboy, Playgirl AOL, the Daily Mail and many others. Kim's a certified sex educator and her passion is helping others be comfortable about sexuality and gaining confidence in all things sex Not to mention sharing a good dirty joke or two. We'll be waiting on social media. She's at Kim, Airs YouTube at Kim Airs Grand opening exclamation mark, and on only fans at Kim Airs.

So Kim, it's your 30 year anniversary in the business. Congratulations.

Speaker 2 (3m 53s): It's crazy thinking it's been that long. I know. I'll tell you.

Speaker 1 (3m 58s): I know. And you're, and you're only and you're only 24. How's that possible?

Speaker 2 (4m 2s): Exactly.

Speaker 1 (4m 3s): So what's the most important takeaway from all those years?

Speaker 2 (4m 7s): Well, I think the main thing is the incredible head spinning for me, advancement of technology on so many levels in the adult industry. Because when I started out in 93, pretty much the options for what the materials were for, let's say vibrators was hard, plastic, vinyl or latex. That was it. And pretty much, you know, it's hard to find a hard plastic toy.

They still exist. Latex pretty much doesn't exist anymore because there's been so many other new materials that are out there that are much more body friendly and less expensive and less stinky and things like that. And then, you know, vinyl, that's gone way by the wayside a long time ago. So just thinking, you know, that, that those things are gone as materials. It's pretty significant. And I look at pictures of my store when I started and I'm, God, God, everything was like cylindrically shaped and you know, there weren't any of the U-shaped toys that are out there all over the place now.

And so that's just one aspect of God, so many different things that are out there. I mean, technology wise, what they do and the materials and everything. So that's, that to me is, has been the real significant change in the past 30 years.

Speaker 1 (5m 32s): Sure. So what's the most intriguing sex toy that's come out in the past few months?

Speaker 2 (5m 38s): Intriguing sex toy. Well, I'll tell you cuz I'm looking at one right now and there's no motor in it. Okay. And it's a different take on something that tons of manufacturers have made and there's only one company that's making it. And I'm like, this to me is a game changer. And it gives me penis envy cause it's a toy that guys can use to masturbate with.

But I guess, I mean women can masturbate with it too. If you're like fantasizing about, you know, doing scissoring or licking pussy or something like that. It's made by curve toys and Curve is based out of North Hollywood. They do all their molding and pouring in Mexico. And I'll give you a little background. The person that is the head of their manufacturing in Mexico came from Topco. And Topco was a leader in the industry and they're the ones that really came out with the TPR cyber skin.

That was the first material that was fleshlight in feel and everything. So everybody thinks, you know, if it was fleshlight but fleshlight actually. Well there's the backstory to that too. I won't go into it too much cuz it's a little political. Oh, please. Yeah, yeah. In this business you think, so Topco like came out with cyber skin, which really was the one that was marketed a lot more.

Anyway, so it was the guy that was the head of the cyber skin manufacturing for Topco. Well he bailed. I mean Topco is like, it's still out there, but it's got its last gasp going on. I mean, that's a whole nother thing. What he created are these realistically colored vulvas for, you know, sticking your dick into, so we call 'em strokers in the industry, but what he came up with is a coating on the outside and it's called Wet Look.

And it is the most realistic wet pussy you will ever see. Now I've seen my share of the real things, right? And when you get a nice lobed pussy and just, you know, it's freaking gorgeous and these masturbator look exactly like that, he's even got the color tone because when a vulva owner is sexually stimulated, the blood rushes to the vulva area. That's why the labia and the inner labia get darker and pinker and darker and purer and sometimes browner.

I mean it really depends on skin tone. Everybody's different. You can't say that like Caucasian women will have, you know, a purple one or something like this all across the board. It's always like these deep richer blood filled colors and colors. Those colors are captured in these masturbator also. So he not only captured the color of an engorged vulva, but also the look with that clear coating on it. And they're magnificent.

They're just, they're so incredibly realistic. I mean way more than just a fleshlight or any other kind of masturbator that's just a vulva because it First of all those tend to be like a single color. So they really don't tend to be that realistic technically. And this, these are just incredible. I mean they're, I look at them and even I get a hard on, okay. I mean

Speaker 1 (9m 30s): They're

Speaker 2 (9m 31s): That good. Nice. So they, yeah, they came out, they came out about a year ago and I'm surprised they just haven't like totally wiped out all other masturbate out there.

Speaker 1 (9m 43s): Interesting. Love to get him on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (9m 46s): Yeah, I don't know, he's, he might be kinda quiet about what he does. I don't know. But it would be kind of cool because it's, it's with

Speaker 1 (9m 55s): That testimonial,

Speaker 2 (9m 56s): It's, and hey, coming from me too, it takes a lot for me to be impressed by something

Speaker 1 (10m 2s): I know. I know. Well you see 'em all. So I can only imagine. So what's the difference between water-based, silicone-based and hybrid lube?

Speaker 2 (10m 13s): Well, that's a really good question because a lot of people, you know, it's absolutely, and that's the thing is we all are like, oh yeah, use a lube First of all. I think a personal lubricant is the number one sex toy. I never have sex without using lube. It doesn't matter where, you know, I mean this is the whole thing with lube. I'll backtrack a little bit. So what happens with sexual stimulation and it's, there's a lubricant that gets emitted by both vulvas and penises.

Okay? So with penises, we know, and we call 'em, we call it pre-com. Now pre-com actually has a real function and what pre-com is, it's so cool. So when a penis gets stimulated, so it can be visually or just whatever, when the juices start flowing, what happens is out of the, why am I getting a blank on the name? It's not the sper, it's the gland, oh god, I can't believe I'm forgetting this word.

Anyway, it's a gland that secretes pre-com and it goes through the urethra. Now it is ahead of the seminal vesicles, right? Where the semen comes out and the sperm and everything. So upon stimulation, so like I say, it can be whatever starts, the juice is going the gland, oh, I could look it up right now, but whatever the gland starts secreting pre-com. Alright, the two purposes of that, this is the whole thing.

All sex is based on reproduction except for the pleasure of the clitoris, right? Everything else is based on reproduction. So this fluid comes out right through the urethra, travels through the urethra to the head of the penis to do two things. One, lubricate the tip. Why? Because you're gonna be sticking it in a vulva and fucking and making babies, right? And it also, not for everybody, trust me. But what it also does, and this is the magnificent thing about it, it cleans out the urethra from any trace of urine because urine kills sperm.

So it flushes it out. So those sperm don't get killed going through the urethra and then get doing their job. So that's pretty cool. So that's around male lubrication. Now for vulva lubrication, that is usually a natural response to sexual stimulation as well. So a lot of times it involves more of touch as opposed to naturally occurring. Although it can definitely naturally occur too without, you know, stimulation. But this is the whole thing with women that you know, we are very delicate and creative and amazing strong creatures.

The production of lubricant can also vary according to our menstrual cycles. So it tends to be much more copious. Take a guess when

Speaker 1 (13m 22s): Menopause.

Speaker 2 (13m 23s): Nope. Okay. All right. Start thinking reproduction.

Speaker 1 (13m 27s): Re oh, sorry, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13m 29s): During ovulation, so mid cycle, there's actually, if you look at slides of female lubrication, like in the middle of the cycle, okay, so it looks like ferns, right? Like all during regular. But then during the ovulation, which is in right in the middle of her menstrual cycles, the lubrication kind of, so before ferns open, there's, they're all like straight. So the actual makeup of female lubrication during ovulation smooths out.

Hmm, why? So those little mies can go swimming up there. So yes, the actual physical makeup of female vulva lubrication is different mid-cycle. So it's a lot more slippery, a lot smoothly. And then also another thing that affects lubrication, which I find fascinating is, okay, so let's say you have a stuffy nose and you take a antihistamine that affects vaginal lubrication as well.

Cuz think about it, it dries out mucus membranes your nose. But on any package of antihistamine, does it ever say if you are sexually active, please use a personal lubricant. Of course it won't say that because you're not supposed to be fucking when you, you have a stuffy nose.

Speaker 1 (14m 54s): So

Speaker 2 (14m 55s): I'm always like, you know, always use your lubrication. And also too, it's a lot of people will be like really turned on by their partner and have kind of a dry pussy and a lot of times the partner will be like, what? I don't turn you on and off. And it sometimes it just doesn't lubricate, you know? And it has nothing to do with the partner or it can, I mean depending on what your partner looks like and stuff.

Speaker 1 (15m 19s): I've never said that by the way. I

Speaker 2 (15m 22s): Know. But enough people think that you know and stuff.

Speaker 1 (15m 26s): So back to the original question,

Speaker 2 (15m 29s): Water silicone or hybrid?

Speaker 1 (15m 32s): Yes. What's the difference?

Speaker 2 (15m 34s): Water base is compatible with any toy out there. So any toy, any condom, any anything, it's fine. Our bodies are water-based or bodies except water-based lube really. Well, there's all different kinds of consistencies. There's really runny like astroglide, there's jellies, K y jelly for everybody out there that was made for medical examinations, not sex. So it's really a yucky lubricant to use. There are other lubes that are made specifically for sex that are jelly based.

A really good one is the wicked sensual care line and wicked simply ssa, ml y, excellent line of lubricants. All of them. And so they've got different formulas including water based and hybrid. I don't think they make a silicone for wicked anyway. So water-based lubes, totally awesome, easy to wash off, easy one, wash out, easy to wash off your body, easy to wash off toys in toys, that type of thing. Super easy. Then there's silicone, now silicone that's chemically based.

There's five different ingredients that can go in a silicone lube. And that depends on the price of it too because there's more like the meone cyclic Laane is another one. So there's all these different types of silicone that go into a silicone lube. That's why some silicone lubes are less expensive than others. It depends on the quantity of the particular ingredients. So they're silicone lubes and the thing with silicone is their chemical makeup is, it's like ball bearings. So it does not stick to itself at all.

In that case it doesn't dry out either. Cuz the water based lube, everybody's like, oh it gets sticky. That's cuz the water evaporates out of the lube. So to just fire up a water-based lube, just add water, it's like shampoo. If you want more lather, you add more water, you don't add more shampoo. So same thing with water-based. So a lot of people use silicone based for anal cuz they just don't want anything to dry out. So it's really popular for that.

Speaker 1 (17m 39s): It's a good idea.

Speaker 2 (17m 40s): Yeah, I mean I, I always say lubricant is like perfume. You get the one that works for you. Cause every body is different around it. So silicone now I actually, I hate silicone lube cause it's like having oil on your hands and you can't wash it off until you make a concerted effort.

Speaker 1 (17m 59s): Is that like, is that k y? Is that silicone?

Speaker 2 (18m 2s): No, K Y is water based. So silicone is pure P J U R lube. Uber Lube is silicone. There's lots, there's liquid silicone, there's, there's a lot of silicone lubes out there. So it's totally a personal preference thing. Now what came out, well there was one available when I still had my store. So that was like in the early two thousands called liquid silk. And that was basically the first hybrid lube out there. It's very creamy.

So the hybrids are creamy based lube. I've never met a, a hybrid that wasn't creamy. And I keep saying creamy because that's a consistent, it looks like giz. So it actually works when you wanna like fake J yourself is a silicone loop. It's great for great for camming and porn scenes. Trust me on that one. So hybrid is the best of both worlds. So it works with any toy, it's water-based and silicone blended and that's my favorite cuz it's easy to wash off but it lasts long longer than a water-based lube.

So you get the qualities of both too. And then, oh yeah, before I forget. So everybody, I'm sure everybody out there who's listening, who knows silicone toys and silicone lube have heard, don't use silicone lube with silicone toys. Which is what's been said since the late nineties. Because what happened late 97, I can nail exactly what year. There were very few silicone lube manufacturers and very few, few silicone toy manufacturers. And there was a company that the, if you use silicone toy lube on it, it would make a chemical reaction on the toy.

It would make it sticky and you could not wash it off. So that's when that started. Don't use silicone lube with silicone to toys nowadays. Lots more silicone lubes out there and lots more silicone toys. So if you have a silicone toy and you wanna try a silicone lube with it, just put two drops of the lube somewhere on the toy that you're not going to use.

Speaker 1 (20m 10s): Kinda like you do chemical reactions with clothes. Yeah, completely.

Speaker 2 (20m 14s): And you test it with two drops, leave it overnight, wipe it off the next morning. If there's no stickiness, you can use that lube with a toy. Although I do suggest washing it off thoroughly after dawn. Dish detergent works really well to break down the, the oil consistency of a silicone lube because a lot of times, you know, if you use just regular soap, it doesn't break it down cuz think of it as an oil. So yeah. So that's, that's my lube lesson for today.

Speaker 1 (20m 42s): Thank you very much. So we were talking about materials and toys. What's the difference between tpr, tpe and silicone?

Speaker 2 (20m 54s): Sure. T P and tpe, those are acronyms. One's thermoplastic, elastomer and the other one is thermoplastic rubber. So they're basically the same. They do not contain phalates. Phalates is a rubber softener, that new car smell that you get and, and it was used a lot in sex toys, but it was also used in making baby toys and things. And what they found, I'm still a little skeptical about whatever they found that it can change the hormones of male infants and feminize them.

So it's an endocrine disruptor and hormone disruptor.

Speaker 1 (21m 37s): Weird.

Speaker 2 (21m 38s): I know. So I'm like, so they, they've taken it outta sex toys. Well like me, I'm postmenopausal, I could fucking care less about baby boys, right? It's not gonna happen. So I'm like, you know, whatever. But the thing is, sates are stinky so that it's, when you'd open a sex toy back in the like late nineties and stuff you'd open up in, it would be like phew, that's a small, that's a small, a strong set. That was phalates. They've gotten so far away from Phalates because a, they, they're outlawed in the eu.

The US hasn't really cracked down, thank God on sex toys. But people have just gotten away from manufacturing with it. So PR and TPE is one of those new materials that have replaced latex and a lot of toys are made out of that body safe. You can use water-based lube with it, tend not to use a silicone based kind of, doesn't work as well, you know? And if your toy might disintegrate over a period of time. So T P R tends to be the standalone material and a lot of time t p e is used as a coating for toys that are abs plastic.

So they're kind of interchangeable, you know, they're kind of the same thing. It's what's the difference between elastomer and rubber? Not much of a difference. I mean some chemists might say something different but you know, not really. Anyway, that and silicone, so silicone's also a rubber, absolutely no cellulite's in it, extremely body safe. So silicone is the go-to. They used to be really expensive dildos. And then once the Chinese manufacturing started get to and boom, everything came down and it was so much easier to manufacture toys made outta silicone.

Plus now the consumer is really aware of silicone toys. So they demand silicone toys cuz they know that that's the best material there is to put in and on their body. So really get a ton of silicone and they've really perfected the way silicone looks. I mean they make really realistic colors and feel and things like that. They haven't really made silicone masturbator. But then they're like, why? This is the whole thing with masturbate. They're not really used internally, they're used externally.

So if you're sticking your dick in it and it's your exterior skin, it's not gonna be absorbed as if you were putting it in an anus or vagina. So you, you know, you don't really see silicone masturbator at all. I don't think the material really lends itself to that, you know, being that soft and pliable. So that's really the only product that you don't see outta silicone. But yeah, so silicone's the go-to material for sure.

Speaker 1 (24m 17s): Sounds like it. So what do you do with all the products you get to review? Do you have like a garage sale or something?

Speaker 2 (24m 26s): I do actually.

Speaker 1 (24m 29s): That was just a wild guess.

Speaker 2 (24m 30s): It's, you know, what's a girl to do?

Speaker 1 (24m 33s): And I was being facetious to a certain degree.

Speaker 2 (24m 35s): It's a good, bad problem to have. Lemme tell you, I get here, gives do the math on this. I get 30 sex toys a month to shit you. Oh shit, 30. So it's crazy. So I get a lot of them and everybody's like, oh, do you try 'em out yourself at this point? I know what they do. Right? So I, I know, you know, like if it's a guy toy, you know, I feel it out. I like hold it in my hand and think, okay, well how, how would this be used? Masturbating?

Speaker 1 (25m 4s): Do you ever have men, you know, try them out

Speaker 2 (25m 7s): Sometimes. But what's really funny is when I test a toy with a partner, I'm like looking at it as a science project, not too much. Oh, this is gonna be a great pleasure toy. It's like, okay, how does this fucking work? You know, and stuff or, or how does it work fucking too, you know? So I I, I look at it, it's kind of like when I watch porno and review porn, which I really haven't done in a while. I like watch it like, okay, how, how is this? You know? And then if I get off watching it, it makes it really good.

Oh yeah. So, so yeah. So with toys, you know, I really scrutinize what the material's, like how is it made, is it flexible, is it not? Is it strong? How does it vibrate? What are the speeds? All that type of stuff. And then I don't use them per se. I know what I like and I keep the ones that I like.

Speaker 1 (26m 0s): You must have a closet full of them.

Speaker 2 (26m 3s): I, yeah.

Speaker 1 (26m 5s): How many have you kept over the years?

Speaker 2 (26m 7s): I probably have 50 that I've kept.

Speaker 1 (26m 10s): That's it, huh?

Speaker 2 (26m 11s): Okay. That's it. Listen to you. Wow. I mean, yeah, when they're silicone, you know,

Speaker 1 (26m 15s): Says something, it's, that says something. Yeah. It's

Speaker 2 (26m 17s): Tricky about keeping track all those fucking chargers.

Speaker 1 (26m 21s): Oh my god, I can, yeah, I can only imagine.

Speaker 2 (26m 24s): Oh god, what happens is when I test a toy, you know, I take it outta the package and the charger will drop on the floor. It's like, oh shit, you know? And sometimes I don't remember putting them in back into the bag. And then, so I'll have like these chargers at my feet and I'm like, oh fuck, what are these for? And so I have to kind track them down. There's kind of standard, a standard one, it's a pin charger, right? So that's a standard. But there's so many that are magnets. And the magnets are this far and that wide and this big and flat, flat and blah blah blah. And the magnet ones, the magnet ones, I mean, I get it, it's part of the design of a toy, but they're actually kind of pain in the ass cuz you have to have 'em sit just right when they charge.

You know, as opposed to the pin charger, you just throw that in there and the thing can be dangling from my laptop charging off my computer. But the, the magnet ones have to be sitting just right. So I've kind of run into that as an, with some of the toys, like, you know, I'll mention, oh it's a magnetic charger and stuff. So like I said, it's kind of a pain in the ass. But, but it fits with the design and, and then, and then what not enough manufacturers do. And I suggest that for anybody who does have sex toys, to just take a piece of tape or whatever, you know, a duct tape or something and just put like a tab on your charger with the name of the toy.

Cuz otherwise you're like, what fucking toy does this go with? And then the chargers have two different lengths too. So there's standard, but they're not. So keep track of your charger. There's one company, Vien, V I B E N, which makes great toys. They're a relatively new company. They're a distributors line of toys. They're really great. There's so much thought that goes into them. They're really great. And there's so much thought that they even label their chargers with the name of the toy.

Speaker 1 (28m 18s): Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (28m 19s): It totally is.

Speaker 1 (28m 20s): I wish my, I wish I wish shavers and tremors and things did that.

Speaker 2 (28m 24s): I do everybody, you know because you Yeah, yeah. Cause you look at and that anything computer oriented, you know, who's got, I can tell you everybody that's listening to this is gonna have a box of freaking cords and chargers and shit that they have no idea what they go to because we've forgotten and you can't throw it out, you know, in these like square plug chargers that you're like, what the hell does this go to? And then it's got different outputs and let, and you're like, just fucking name it, you know, put the name of the product on it. But they don't do that.

So we can do that ourselves. And that, that makes a huge difference. I mean, for every kind of product you have. So yeah, definitely in sex toy world. Definitely.

Speaker 1 (29m 5s): So how do you do all your reviews? What's your methodology?

Speaker 2 (29m 9s): Well like I said, I really look at the material, the quietness of it, what it does. I mean there's some crazy shit coming out that like, I'm like really, like there's evolved is making such powerful toys right now that I'm like, I would have to make an emergency room visit if I use this. You know?

Speaker 1 (29m 36s): But

Speaker 2 (29m 36s): That's the thing is that's just me. And the beauty of this whole crazy world of sex toys is that's gonna work really well for somebody out there who really wants that kind of stimulation and really wants to have a good time. So I just, you know, I just love everything no matter how crazy I think it is and things like that. Well

Speaker 1 (29m 55s): Yeah, there's some stuff out there that has the power of like a power drill.

Speaker 2 (29m 59s): Oh my gosh. Totally. Totally. You know, evolved makes them, evolve's a great company. Their products are really good. They all have a five year warranty between evolved gender x and zero tolerance for all the same company, which is owned by Greg Alvis who started zero tolerance video. So that's what happened. Like probably around 2000 all these DVD companies saw the writing on the wall and where the direction DVDs were going. And they were like, well we should probably get any novelty industry.

And, and he's really succeeded immensely in that. Definitely played the cards right? And definitely had amazing and creative products and, and yeah, so I'm always impressed by their products and, and there's some they make that, I'm like, what the hell? You know that I just,

Speaker 1 (30m 48s): There's a lot of, what the hells in the world these days?

Speaker 2 (30m 50s): There's a lot of the, what the hells in the industry of like sex toys? I actually pointed that out to one company. Okay. So the, a big category that's developed are suction devices for clitoral stimulation. Right? Interesting. So there's tons of these products that is a, an internal vibrator, right? So you stick that in and then it's got the, and it's one piece and then it's got a suction device on the top. So you stick it in and then you use the clitoral device for suc, you know, clitoral suction.

Well that's kind of good in theory. However, if you're like someone who likes to do the ins and outs with a sex toy, you can't fucking do that when you've got a clitoral suction device on your clit, it's gonna break the suction constantly. So I'm like for those you can like stick it in, get the suction thing going on and that's kind of it. You know, if you want constant suction. So what I always say is get two different devices, get something you wanna put in and out and get an exterior clitoral suc device that you can just leave there while you're moving the ins and out thing.

But there's so many of them that are these dual ones. Now this one company came out with one, so it's got this internal part and then the clit section and then there's this like two and a half inch long tail that's in between the two of 'em. Hmm. And I looked at it, I'm like, this makes absolutely no fucking sense. So I saw this.

Speaker 1 (32m 19s): Sometimes you wonder what they're thinking. It's,

Speaker 2 (32m 21s): Well you know what? I can tell you what it is right now. You ready?

Speaker 1 (32m 25s): Okay. I'm always ready. They're

Speaker 2 (32m 28s): Designed by men.

Speaker 1 (32m 30s): That's a good point. I wouldn't know how to design a female sex toy and I wouldn't try

Speaker 2 (32m 35s): Right. And try to make it different than the others. I mean I get that that's their goal and things like that. But so I pointed this out and so it was three guys at this trade show and I said, look cuz they all know me. I said I gotta tell you about this one thing. And I showed 'em and I said, this tale makes absolutely no sense. They're like, well you're supposed to put it internally. I said that you're not gonna be thinking about that when you're using this toy fucking fucking toy. Right. They don't wanna like put it in and have a good time.

You're not wanna think, oh is the tail in or out? Cause if the tail's out it goes over the clit and the suction thing ain't gonna work cuz it's not gonna make the suction. So I'm like, this doesn't make sense. And they're like, we should probably talk to our designers about it. I'm like yeah. And if you really wanna talk to somebody who knows their shit, here's my card.

Speaker 1 (33m 26s): Do you do some designing?

Speaker 2 (33m 27s): I do consulting, yeah. For design. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33m 30s): I would think anyway that the most successful toys are gonna be those that are designed by women. Right.

Speaker 2 (33m 36s): Well I wanna think the majority are at this point that, or just even, you know, this is the thing, I don't think a lot of these toys are even tested. You know, like, oh does this shape work? You know, let's get a dozen different vulva owners and a dozen different penis guys. Right? And say, you know, do these work for you. Like I really don't think anybody does that in this business. I really don't.

Speaker 1 (34m 1s): Well you'd hope they would.

Speaker 2 (34m 3s): You would think, huh. And I think that's why so many people respect me in this business. Cuz I walk the walk and talk and talk. I try this stuff, you know? Yes. I know that. I just said I didn't cuz I review them. But for something, you know, like I said, something that looks like it makes sense. It's like, okay, I get this. But so a design that doesn't make sense, I'm like, this doesn't make sense. And, and I actually, I'd love to write an article like totally anonymous of talking to like all these people in the sex toy industry, do you actually use your toys?

Because I can tell you the over overwhelming majority of them do not.

Speaker 1 (34m 40s): That's a problem.

Speaker 2 (34m 41s): I think it is. I mean, cuz how do you know, how do you know what to sell? But this is the thing not one size fits all in this business. So just because you like this doesn't mean that other person will, you know, and, and that's the beauty of it too. But it's at at least like, this is the thing is what, like I said, the things that I review, I know what I like. So when I see something I like, I'm like, oh yeah, this is gonna work for me. And that's with anything you know, is that the people that like those dual stimulators try 'em, the the ones that like suction devices, the ones that like ass toys.

I mean that's, I mean you can just go down this credible list of all these different types of things that's at least find people that use these toys and like their particular uses and say, Hey can you try these out? Does this make sense? Like, you know, while I'm on this diatribe about it, because I think it's really important. Like, okay, so we all know the rabbit pearl. That was like one of the originals. It's a long story I can tell you. Well what happens with a lot of these is they make the shaft like about six inches long. So the shaft is what you insert and then the rabbits at like the last inch and a half, two inches of it, you know?

And in the meantime the quote unquote G-spot area is like maybe an inch down from the shaft or at, at the tip of the shaft. Well that's not gonna hit the G-spot if you're gonna use the rabbit thing. All right. It's not gonna happen. What I always say, and this is anybody listening out there can do this, make the letter C with your hand, right? So the letter C, you can do this right now, Bruce. Okay. Let her see then bend your first knuckle of your thumb and if you were to put this into a vulva, your fingertips would be at the G-spot and your thumb would be on the clip.

Speaker 1 (36m 26s): Interesting. I thought you were telling me that I could check my pussy and I was gonna tell you I don't have one, but anyway.

Speaker 2 (36m 32s): Oh god. But I got a, I got plenty of them. You can try out, right? So this is it. So it's like why are dual toys not designed with this exact shape? The one toy that's been out there for a long time and extremely consistent with this shape is the butterfly kiss by cal exotics. It's exactly that shape and size. And so it doesn't look like a big toy because to do exactly the G-spot. So we're not talking like going to the cervix thing. GPOs just right inside there.

So to hit the G-spot and the clitoris, that's a perfectly shaped toy all the time. So they have a lot of variations. They came out with a silicone butterfly kiss. Butterfly kiss has probably been around 20 years at least, if not more. Now it's all rechargeable and everything like that. If you want a toy that's gonna do both, that's the one. The thing is that the inside shaft one isn't really super large or anything, but the bulb is very distinct for G-spot stimulation. And that you could definitely do the ins and outs because it's not a clitoral suction device.

So it'll, it'll be like a clitoral vibe. They have the, they have, it's a butterfly shape, but they've got ones that do licking now, which is a whole nother thing, which is really popular. Yeah. So they've got a lot of variations of it and they're all good. They're all good.

Speaker 1 (37m 50s): Cool. So tell us more about the science of sexuality.

Speaker 2 (37m 54s): We talked about the reproduction part of it for sure. There's, you know, I get kind of really science geeky on stuff. That's my, that's my favorite part of the nuts and bolts so to speak of sexuality. I was gonna say hard science because we know that there's sex therapy out there, there's trauma recovery, there's all sorts of, you know, all sorts. It goes all in sorts of things. The thing that turns me on the most is the hard science around sexuality.

Just kind of like what are the testosterone levels in women that are really good to have because both, you know, male female bodies and everybody in between is a balance of hormones. So it's in a blend. And this is the thing is that so many, we'll say, you know, cis women cuz all this politically correct, but it's kind of neat because it is more clear. There's cisgendered women, we all are a blend. And what happens like around menopause is our testosterone levels drop, which has a lot to do with lubrication, it has to do with libido levels, a whole bunch of things.

So what they found is that like quote unquote the magic pill for women is actually in addition of testosterone. So there's all these different kinds of, and which is also called hormonal tr, you know, hormone replacement therapy. You know, I mean it's not only estrogen and progesterone, but it's also balanced with testosterone. So this is all thing is that, you know, a lot of women, oh I don't have any libido. I mean there's other factors too for sure. But it's like, you know it to find a doctor, either a gynecologist or endocrinologist or something like that, that can prescribe low doses of testosterone.

We're not talking about the levels that a male would need or you know, somebody who's transitioning or something like this. But just to bring it up a little bit will make a difference in vaginal lubrication. Horniness, I mean just a whole lot of things. So this shit is so exciting to me of just to see like the levels. I'll give you another example of like what drives me like crazy good. There was a study, and I should follow up. It was with Dr. Irwin Goldstein who's a preeminent female sexuality doctor.

First name was Erwin neurologist by trade. Irwin Goldstein. Yeah. He started a, A place San Diego's, it's a guy. Okay. Yeah. San Diego Medicine. Yeah. And he and I go back to way to Boston cuz he was in Boston and they would always refer people to my store. And he and Alan Altman, who's another preeminent doctor around sexuality, they did a study and it was a small study and they took maybe 15 women that reported depression and were not on antidepressants.

And they took a control of 15 women who did not report depression, you know, as the control group. And they checked their testosterone levels. All of the women that reported depression that were not getting medically treated for it had significantly lower testosterone levels. So we, anybody who knows science geek hormones control your body. They are the driving force of any body. So they said maybe depression is linked to a lower testosterone level.

And I'm like, holy shit. He goes, we can't even get our own doctors to wrap their heads around this. Nevermind, what are we gonna do with shrinks? They're not gonna get it. They're gonna give that Wellbutrin and progesterone, I mean not Prozac and all stuff like this, including fucking SSRIs,

Speaker 1 (41m 46s): Medicaid, everything. Right?

Speaker 2 (41m 48s): Right. Which fucks up everything that plummets your libido even further. Instead of saying, let's do a hormonal check on your testosterone and see where that is. So to me to learn this was like, whoa. But yet, I don't know if it went further in research or what. I mean

Speaker 1 (42m 7s): I wonder if the same thing follows for man in estrogen.

Speaker 2 (42m 9s): Well you know, where they use estrogen actually is in treatment of prostate cancers.

Speaker 1 (42m 14s): Oh sure, sure.

Speaker 2 (42m 15s): Yeah. So that's where it's used cuz it's, it que, see this is the thing, it quells the testosterone levels and the testosterone reaction you would say. So they use it actually more as a prostate cancer treatment and suppression. Like my dad went through that. I mean, prostate cancer is so commonly found in elderly men. And the doctors were like, you know, you don't really need to treat it other than taking this, you probably won't be getting erections. But I think it was like 80 something at that point. And he was like, yeah, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (42m 48s): But

Speaker 2 (42m 48s): Yeah, anyway,

Speaker 1 (42m 49s): It's like he was too old to bother. Right. Kinda a bit. I get it. I'm not there yet, but I get it. I certainly get it. Oh

Speaker 2 (42m 56s): Yeah, I'll tell you what a toss up. And actually that's kind of funny. So I grew up on top of my father's furniture story, had his own furniture story after World Wari. And so his father was a troubleshooter for Montgomery Ward. I wreak of retail, I mean even on my mom's side and everything.

Speaker 1 (43m 11s): Come ahead. You had a store.

Speaker 2 (43m 12s): Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so, so this is the thing. And so I, my store is open a couple years at this point and my dad, my mom, I was at their house and my dad just goes, Kim, I know you talk about very personal things with your customers and I've been having some erection issues lately. And my doctor said I should get one of these. And this was like 1997. So it was before the internet. Well it was, you know, early days of internet, right?

It was a penis pump.

Speaker 1 (43m 45s): Oh geez. Right.

Speaker 2 (43m 47s): And so I'm like, oh, and I went right into sex educator mode. I'm like, okay, well let's look at a few things here. First of all, you're 77. It has a little bit to do with it also too is like, you know, you have high blood pressure going on that'll do a regulatory issue, things like that. So I'm like, you know, all of these components will add to this. And I said, the thing with one of these penis pumps is it will artificially increase the size of your penis. And I articulate that word really heavy because everybody thinks, oh my god, look I got this big boner.

No it's suction, it creates suction by sing, but fluid into it, water into your penis and it's stretching the skin and making it look bigger like this. It, it is not erectile tissue. When you break the seal of that, you're gonna shrink up like a piece of spaghetti. And so what doctors do

Speaker 1 (44m 41s): Balloon. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (44m 42s): Yeah. They still fucking recommend this because it's like, oh no, look at what you've got. So you put, they say, use this suction and then put a Cochran in and you might get, all right, get ready two to three seconds of penetration.

Speaker 1 (44m 56s): Oh, how fun.

Speaker 2 (44m 58s): And they think that's good. And meanwhile they're partners, you know, usually a wife and they're older and stuff kind of is like, that's it. And that's what doctors recommend. So my, my dad, you know, showed me this p this suction thing and I said, well you know Lopez. And then I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, and daddy, I could get it for you wholesale.

Speaker 1 (45m 23s): That corrects me up.

Speaker 2 (45m 25s): Yeah. The other line that I told them too, which is true and I use it for when I do trainings at stores and things, you know, this happens every time at every sex toy. When you're working in a sex toy store, no matter who you are, you get hit on a lot because you're working a sex toy store. So they think, oh you know, I can probably have sex with this person, but I actually have a big boundary is I do not have sex with customers. You know why? Why? Cause the customer always comes first.

Speaker 1 (45m 56s): Very good. Kim, we move on.

Speaker 2 (45m 59s): I told my dad that he was very proud of me.

Speaker 1 (46m 3s): I bet, I bet. So what's the craziest thing you've heard in all your years in the business?

Speaker 2 (46m 11s): Oh, you know, that's a funny one. I worked one time at a home sex trade party company with these young guys and they knew that, you know, I'd been around a lot and stuff and they asked me that same question. And so I said, you know what, let me get back to you on that. And shortly after I thought of something. So I have a friend, she's a total wax sex girl like me. I love her to pieces. I've known her for a long time. She'll try anything with anybody. I mean she's great. Okay. So yeah, cuz I mean this, you know, when you meet a kind, a kindred spirit like that, you're like really connect.

So she told me this one. So she was seeing this Italian guy and he wanted to make a copy of his dick. It's clone a Willie, it's called Clone a Willie. It's been around a long time. You make a mold of your penis and then you cast it. We have silicone and rubber materials and stuff like that. So that's pretty cool. A lot of people use that cl Willie and stuff. Here's where it took a turn. He had her use it in his strap on to fuck him up the ass so he can feel what it would be.

Wanted to get fucked by his own dick.

Speaker 1 (47m 20s): Oh, interesting. Yes. That is wild.

Speaker 2 (47m 26s): That took it for me.

Speaker 1 (47m 29s): It definitely takes the cake. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (47m 31s): It takes the cock, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 (47m 32s): Yes. I want somebody to fuck me with my cock. Oh god.

Speaker 2 (47m 36s): With my own one. So I'm like, that is so fucked up. And I mean I think, you know, this is the whole thing that's about this, about this whole business is somebody thinks as crazy as a big turn on for somebody else.

Speaker 1 (47m 49s): Oh absolutely. Well look at all the niches. Okay. Look at all the different niches in porn and you look at some of it and you just go, huh? But somebody, somebody likes it

Speaker 2 (48m 3s): A lot. A friend of mine's a foot doctor and he's like, how can anybody have a foot fetish book?

Speaker 1 (48m 9s): You

Speaker 2 (48m 10s): Know? I mean this is the thing, this

Speaker 1 (48m 12s): Is the beauty of it. I know. Hey I, I mean my friend Massey runs one of the most successful foot fetish networks and another client of mine is actively buying fetish and, and foot fetish clips for sale store because they do very well. So I know, I know, I know. It's hard for me to understand too. Although I will say something, I, on Twitter, I've seen some foot jobs and it ain't bad.

It's not really my thing, but it ain't bad. It's the way that this person did. It was pretty darn good. Although some of these creators are just really, really talented. And this particular creator, her, her editing is just off the amazing and I've actually complimented her on her editing that they do in house. It's just frick. I can't think of the creator's name right now, but it's just fricking amazing.

Speaker 2 (49m 8s): I can put a condom on with my feet. I've done that in a car on an MIT grad student in a MIT parking lot. I was pretty proud of myself for that.

Speaker 1 (49m 18s): So you too, personal sex consulting, what does that entail?

Speaker 2 (49m 23s): Well, you know, it's something, because let's say you wanna be a better golfer, you'll go to a golf pro, right? Or swing coach or something like that. And the work that I do, it's, you know, I work, a lot of times I work with a sex therapist because they cannot do hands-on work. They're limited. So a lot of times it's called surrogacy work. It's, you know, assistant work, it's whatever. So it's basically working. I can work with a therapist if my referral comes through with a therapist to work on issues that they can't physically help with.

But I can. So it's, it can do with ed stuff, it can do with just being comfortable. It can have to do with touch because a lot of people, you know, a lot of it's cultural, how they were raised, what, you know, a partner said to them, I, it goes on and on and on. That they have a discomfort around sex and around anything that leads up to it, including really basic touch. So what I do is I just, I, I help with that. I never, and I put that in camera, I will never force my agenda on anybody because it's always about them.

So it's kinda, you know, if I'm working with them individually, then it's talking first also to, I am not a therapist. I put that and make that really clear. I'm not a therapist, but I sure as hell know what I'm doing. So when I work with a therapist, it's a triad. So, you know, that's one thing. But when I work with somebody individually, it's like, you know, what are your blockages? What, you know, what comes up for you? What doesn't come up for you? What brings you here type of thing. So for a lot of women it's just like, you know, I've never had an orgasm or I've never been comfortable or sex and things and, and so then I'll ask questions.

And the question that I always ask, I don't jump into it right away, you know, when I'm working with a woman client. But it's what I find, and this is pretty consistent. When women say I have a hard time orgasm, it's like, what do you fear? And the answer is always the same. What do you think it is?

Speaker 1 (51m 33s): I don't know.

Speaker 2 (51m 34s): They fear letting go.

Speaker 1 (51m 36s): Oh yes, yes, I've heard that one before. Yes.

Speaker 2 (51m 40s): Right. So what I ask is letting go of what? And it puts 'em in a corner cuz they're like, and the answer is almost always letting go of control. And then I ask control of what, because if you know, if you're with a partner that you trust and things like that, if this isn't a control battle, you know, and I cannot tell you on the other side how many men say, oh my god, when a woman loses control, they get like all glazed over and like, oh my God, they

Speaker 1 (52m 17s): Should be happy.

Speaker 2 (52m 18s): They should be happy. Yeah. And the women should be happy about doing that. And I've talked to so many women that are like, oh my god, I had a night of sex. I totally lost control.

Speaker 1 (52m 29s): Good,

Speaker 2 (52m 30s): Good. Because that's when orgasms will happen. That's when ejaculation happen. Yeah. That's when like you feel like you're on another planet will happen. I mean it's really, it's a good thing. Fucking crazy powerful shit. And I think this what it is, women I think are the ones that fear feeling so powerful that way and going on that other planet and losing control that they're afraid of it. So they won't let themselves go there. When it's like when you do, that's when your world will change.

And so this is a lot of the work that I do is allowing women to go there. I did a lot of trading with Betty Dodson, the late great Betty Dodson around that. And you can look her up. And I've done, like I said, years and years of training with her. I've done a ton of training with Annie Sprinkle I, my work is based on breath and energy work because I think that's what really controls everything. Is your breath breath word. I can actually like, it's kinda a lot of reiki practice, even though I haven't technically been learned that.

But I can actually look at a body and this is male or female or any, any gendered body and see where the blockages are just by like what tenses in their bodies with breathing and stuff. And, and so I don't do any masturbation stuff. They do all that themselves. But what I'll do is I'll guide them with my hands and just like lay my hands on wherever it's all chakra work of like, okay, here, you know, that and just they can connect with it and stuff. And just, so it's seven chakras and I mean you can see like when their genitals like just kind of closed down or when their bodies, their bellies tense up or their, or their chest and their breathing and then their, their throat.

That's another strong one. You know, or their heart even. I mean you can see that in their, the heart, you know, for women it's like a lot of it's emotionally based of like ugh, you know, and stuff like this. But it's a matter of releasing it. And so you continuously release as your breath is like getting fuller and fuller and things and you know, it's called technically it's like the fire breath orgasm is what it is. And then it goes, you know, to the, the center of your forehead, like your third eye it's called. And boy that's a big crunch spot too cuz people fucking overthink sex all the time.

Don't do that. People don't overthink it,

Speaker 1 (54m 52s): Enjoy it. Let go have fun and everything will be fine. Right?

Speaker 2 (54m 59s): Don't fucking think about what anybody else thinks. Even your partner, if you need to cut a fart, cut a fart. You know, I mean this is a thing, this is part of the wedding goes just people hang up on that, you know? Yeah, yeah. Laugh during sex. Not enough people laugh during it. I mean point pointing and laughing might not be cool, but

Speaker 1 (55m 18s): That can be a problem. Yes, yes. I've had that happen too much. But no, just kidding.

Speaker 2 (55m 24s): Yeah, no that, and then if you're not comfortable in a position, change positions.

Speaker 1 (55m 28s): Right, right,

Speaker 2 (55m 29s): Right. People send change it. You know? So this is the things people don't know that play doctor, that's a really great way to learn about yourself.

Speaker 1 (55m 40s): I like nurses.

Speaker 2 (55m 42s): I know. Hmm. That's it. I know Play doctor is really fun cause Cause you're giving a critique but you're not criticizing.

Speaker 1 (55m 51s): Yeah. It's a good time. That's definitely a good time. For sure. So

Speaker 2 (55m 55s): Yeah, so there's a lot. I mean, God I just love this stuff so much. It's just, it's cuz it's always different. Like I'll get people that'll say, oh, I've got a question. You've probably heard it before. I said, yeah, but not from you. So it's a new question. Exactly.

Speaker 1 (56m 10s): Well, what I really like about you Kim is your enthusiasm on the topic and your passion and it's, it's always great. I'd like to thank you once again for being back with us today on Adult Site Broker Talk, and I hope we have a chance to do it again soon.

Speaker 2 (56m 26s): Absolutely. All my social is at Kim Ayers. Thank God there's only one of me. And yeah. And then my toys are@grandopening.com. But stay tuned because I'm also gonna have the toys at Kim ayers.com. There you

Speaker 1 (56m 39s): Go.

Speaker 2 (56m 39s): So excited about that too. So yeah, love

Speaker 1 (56m 43s): It. Thanks again, Kim

Speaker 2 (56m 44s): You so much. Bruce. You bet. Take care. Okay,

Speaker 1 (56m 46s): You too. My Broker tip today is part four of how to buy a site. Last week. We discussed making an offer and deciding the best price for the site you're buying. Once you've made your offer, the work begins. If you're working with a Broker, like say, oh, I don't know, maybe Adult, Site Broker, we handle the negotiation for you. Let's say the seller doesn't accept your offer, they may make a counter offer. If you decide that you're willing to pay more, you can either accept their counter offer or counter back to them.

A good rule of thumb is to always leave room to negotiate. So don't make an offer. That's the absolute most you're willing to pay. If you do that, then you have nowhere to go. If the owner counters your offer, once the owner and you have come to a deal, then it's time to do some due due diligence beyond what it is you've already done. During the initial process of looking at the site. You should have asked some questions, like in the case of a pay site, how many joins and rebuilds there are per day, and any other pertinent questions during due diligence, you need to make sure everything is where you need it to be technically, to integrate it with what you're already doing.

You may even get your developer involved. If you're not tech savvy, you and or your developer should ask these pertinent questions. Once those are answered to your satisfaction, you should either have the seller or yourself draw up a sales agreement. I always tell my clients to do the agreement. Why? Because that way you can dictate the terms. So whether you're the buyer or the seller. You can make the rules, but just get ready to have the seller's attorney change some of those rules.

Nothing is final until everything is signed off on. Another thing we do for our clients is a letter of intent prior to the sales agreement being done. This gives your attorney a roadmap for the agreement, the letter of intent, and more so the agreement will have all the terms involved, including who pays for everything, who pays for escrow, for instance. This can be paid by the buyer, the seller, or split between both parties. We'll talk about the subject more next week and next week we'll be speaking with John, the director of Expose NCOSE.

And that's it for this week's Adult Site Broker Talk. I'd once again like to thank my guest, Kim Airs. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I'm Bruce Friedman.