Adult Site Broker Talk Episode 108 with podcasters and therapists Stephanie and Fox

1 (7s): This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker and welcome to Adult Site Broker Talk, where every week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry, and we discuss what's going on in our business. Plus we give you a tip on buying and selling websites this week. This week we'll be speaking with sex therapist team Stephanie and Fox from Evolve Your Intimacy and the Kinky Coach.

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1 (1m 33s):
Premium quality and downloads are only available to members who have a paid account. The site script can take a lot of traffic with the current server being an only about a 10% load. There are over 30,000 videos. Retention rate is 85%, only $274,000. Now time for this week's interview my guests today on adult side, broker talker, Stephanie and Fox, Stephanie and Fox. Thanks for being with us today on adult side, broker talk,

2 (2m 5s):
Thank you for having us for having us.

1 (2m 7s):
Hey, it's a pleasure and I'm really looking forward to this. Now they're partnered in life and business and are happily open publicly about the non-monogamous relationship. Stephanie had Foxer all right, Diane NAMIC duo who have a passion for helping others discover their relationships true potential. Having met on a dating app for a quick hookup, they immediately knew this is a relationship that had the potential to be much more. After many years together, they've designed their personal relationship to fulfill their individual desire and needs, which include an open concept and strong communication. Stephanie is a bisexual and foxes straight, and they both thoroughly enjoy sharing their intimacy with other people together.

1 (2m 49s):
They feel that it's unrealistic for the other partner to fulfill every sexual desire and need. So they invite others with similar relationship styles and interests to share in the Stephanie is a certified sex therapist, a licensed professional counselor, adult and sex worker specialist and alternative relationship specialist and a board certified relationship intimacy and sex education coach. Ooh, that's a mouthful. Okay. Fox is a sexual assault, victim intervention specialist, sexual assault prevention and response specialist, and a crisis intervention specialist together. They own the kinky coach spelled with a K a king based professional platform, bringing together professional educators and users, Stephanie and Fox, a podcast for education on intimacy, relationships, sex education, and communication, and evolve your intimacy, a guidance center, providing counseling, coaching workshops, retreats, and education for those seeking to educate enlightened and evolve.

1 (3m 52s):
Their intimacy. Stephanie and Fox have appeared on numerous TV and radio shows and have been widely published, especially in the kink and lifestyle areas. We've also won multiple awards and are on prestigious boards, including pineapple support, who adult site broker proudly supports. Sorry. That's all we have time for today. Okay. That's a, that's a heck of a, that's a heck of a bio there. I think that's my record evolve your intimacy or E Y I.

3 (4m 26s):
Yeah, so of all your intimacy is a guidance and counseling center. And our, our main focus is to educate enlighten any evolve, the intimacy of others. So we know that relationships are hard and there really isn't a guide for this. No one's ever told you how to be in a relationship. So what we do is we help couples navigate all of that and learn how to communicate and work through sexual disappointments, mismatched, libidos, all kinds of fun stuff.

1 (4m 58s):
Sounds good. So who is Stephanie personally?

3 (5m 3s):
Oh, Stephanie is, Hey, how would you describe me personally,

2 (5m 9s):
Stephanie, I would classify as passionate dramatic. She wears a hard run, the sleeve. She is Southern loud and she is just loving. I mean, she is probably the most loving and accepting person I have ever met in my entire life. And that is not an embellishment. I mean, you tolerate me that says a lot.

1 (5m 37s):
That's awesome. And I, and I love the, I love the Southern accent, Stephanie, that a, that adds a lot.

3 (5m 44s):
It is intense at times I try to hide it.

1 (5m 49s):
I do well. And since we're recording this on January 25th, I'm not even going to bring up that 49 or cowboy game.

3 (5m 57s):
Yeah. When the best that's okay.

1 (6m 1s):
It was good for me. It was good for me anyway. So who is Stephanie professionally?

3 (6m 10s):
Well, that one I can answer. I'm a licensed therapist in Texas and in Florida, I recently just got certified for certified sex therapy. And I'm in the dissertation phase of my PhD program where I'm going to have a doctorate of clinical sexology. I tend to be a reality-based therapist. So I kind of, or I, don't kind of, I tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. And that's a lot, that's part of what I do in counseling.

1 (6m 42s):
That's awesome. So, so if I, if I came to you for counseling, you kinda kind of give me an idea of what I would, what I would experience.

3 (6m 53s):
Yeah. So it really depends on what you're coming for. If we're going to stay with the same realm of relationship counseling, we would automatically start off with, well, what brought you here? And I always ask, what is the thing that made you say, fuck, I need to reach out for counseling. And so most of the time the clients tell me what that point was. And then we work backwards from there. It's a, it's a puzzle.

1 (7m 19s):
What's the, what's the longest period of time. You've you've counseled somebody.

3 (7m 25s):
Oh, well I do retreats. So we've done the three-day retreats.

1 (7m 30s):
I mean, in terms of how many in terms of months and years.

3 (7m 33s):
Oh, oh wow. So my goal is to work myself out of a job. I don't want to keep, because I have other people I need to help with that said I do have a few lifers. And I think my longest one right now is three years, but that's severe trauma. I'm just going to say that's a very long one. That's not, not very, a very common, I guess.

1 (7m 57s):
Oh, sure. Sure. So who is Fox personally? I guess, I guess Stephanie gets to answer this one,

2 (8m 4s):
Right? I was like, well, let's play the same game.

3 (8m 7s):
Oh wow. Fox. He loves hard, but he only loves the hose that yeah, he loves. So he's the kind of person that will tell it, like it is, he doesn't try to hurt your feelings, but he's not going to try to sugarcoat anything. And he's actually genuine. You don't meet many genuine people in this world and he is truly genuine.

1 (8m 32s):
That's awesome.

2 (8m 33s):
Well, that was a very nice and political from that ad. I usually get told I'm very stoic, intimidating, and I don't talk much, but I truly do love people. And I do have a very knit tight group of friends. And I don't open that circle up very often

3 (8m 56s):
Where I'm all about free love and love and everybody he's all about not,

2 (9m 4s):
I also love very openly. I have been in polyamorous relationships in the past. And so I, you know, I'm all about the free expression of love is just that I don't trust very many people. My careers have taught me to demand someone prove themselves at the same time, give them that same respect. Hmm.

1 (9m 26s):
Okay. So who is Fox professionally?

2 (9m 30s):
So I'm medically retired. Military just retired as a federal law enforcement to two or three years ago now three years ago. And that led me into my work with Stephanie. So I'm also a relationship intimacy and sex education coach as well. And then I also teach skydiving on the side. I Moonlight as a skydive and coach.

1 (9m 58s):
Wow. Wow. How is that? Go ahead. Go ahead, Stephanie. Sorry.

3 (10m 4s):
I was just gonna say, oh yeah. And part of Stephanie, she's got attitude.

1 (10m 8s):
So how skydiving, tell me about that.

2 (10m 11s):
You know, so a lot of people hear that term and they freak out and say, oh, I'm jumping out of the plane. And I'm like, well, technically you don't jump. You fall, you fall on a curve. So you don't get sick to your stomach. And when you're up there, you it's bliss. It's like yoga or meditation because you have nothing to think about, but making sure that you survive and land safely. In the meantime, you're with some extraordinary people, skydiving is very much like the alternative lifestyle where it doesn't matter how much money you make, who you are, even really what your name is.

2 (10m 51s):
Everyone is out there for one purpose only. And everyone for the most part has the utmost respect for each other. And we all are just one big family.

1 (11m 1s):
Wow. I'm way too much of a pussy to do that. So I'm too afraid of death. So tell me, tell me the story about how the two of you met.

2 (11m 13s):
Okay. I'm going to tell my short version, and then she's going to say, she's going to tell you the right one. So we both had just got out of relationships. Mine, I think longer than hers, I'm less of the slot here. Just going to put that out there. And I say we met on Tinder. We were both just trying to hook up. And after the first date I realized, oh, she's attractive. She has intelligence. She's street smart. Maybe I should not fuck this one. Maybe I should hold out a little bit and see where it takes me. That's my story.

3 (11m 48s):
And I say, we met on Bumble either way. We met on a dating app. Yes. We were both looking to just hook up. But yeah, he wouldn't give it up. So he made me wait.

1 (12m 1s):
Oh my God.

3 (12m 2s):
Yeah. It was terrible all the way slutty Stephanie was out there.

1 (12m 8s):
Hm, wow. Wow. Yeah. I, it must have been disappointing for you, Stephanie, of being on a, being on a hookup app and, and not, not getting it. That must, that must have really sucked.

3 (12m 21s):
Well, it did, but it was worth the wait. I mean, I stuck around a little bit longer.

1 (12m 25s):
Indeed. Indeed. Do you to do, do you to do coaching and therapy together by the way?

2 (12m 35s):
So we do, it's two different companies. One is a Stephanie's counseling service, which has beautiful beginnings counseling. And then we have evolve your intimacy, which also has therapists and board certified coaches. But that is, that is a coaching platform.

1 (12m 52s):
Okay. Okay. So that year in together. Okay. So what's the difference between coaching and therapy?

3 (13m 0s):
Well, so in coaching, the coach helps a person achieve like a specific goal and they decide that it's person to person, everybody that comes into coaching has something that they want to achieve. On the other hand, a therapist really helps the people deal with the problems and difficulties that they face in their life. And it's just very deep and internal level where coaching is kind of superficial coaches get to be friends, therapists get to be

2 (13m 28s):
Professionals,

3 (13m 28s):
Professionals.

2 (13m 30s):
We also don't have as many CPU's, which is nice. And we don't spend the same amount of money to get that LPC or therapist title like we do as a board certified coach.

3 (13m 43s):
Yeah. It's been a lot of money on these licenses.

1 (13m 47s):
Yeah. I guess, I guess what are the, what are the expectations between coaching and therapy? How are they different?

2 (13m 60s):
So I want to say the expectation is relatively the same. Somebody comes in or somebodies or persons, whatever that looks like, and they either have a goal or an issue or a complication or a hardship or, or what have you. And they want guidance. They want help in either resolving that or finding a way to adapt their life, to involve that if it's something that is going to be around forever and ever amen. And so there's, there's not much difference when it comes to that. However, as Stephanie defined, you know, coaching is more specific goals, it is more client based.

2 (14m 45s):
So we do have, you know, a plan put in place, but it's not a treatment plan per se. Like it would be a counselor or a therapist. And it, as, as she already stated, we are very much a professional friend. We can get away with a lot more. We can talk about a lot more. We can get extremely personal where even though therapists can do that, there is a fine line with our ethics board on what they can and can't get personal with.

1 (15m 12s):
Sure, sure. So we've talked about expectations now. What, what should they expect from a coaching relationship? What, what, what will actually happen?

2 (15m 24s):
Right. So when someone signs up with our coaching platform, you go to a website of all your intimacy.com. And initially we have an initial consultation, which is free last about 30 minutes. And really that's the time for the client just to word vomit, anything and everything they need to around, whatever situation is going on. And the coach will take notes. We take about 10 minutes and talking to them a resolving what we heard saying, Hey, this is what I heard, please, correct me if I'm wrong. This is what I think would help you. And then we put them with a suitable coach. Some coaches have different strengths than others.

2 (16m 6s):
For instance, myself, I am stronger with polyamorous couples and non-monogamous couples than I am with anything. And then also communication where other coaches have other strong points. So after that, they set up their own appointment. They last anywhere from an hour to two hours, we try never to go past two hours because after that nobody's really paying attention and not much else is getting resolved after that. And you know, it is literally a back and forth clients talk a little bit, I'll intervene, ask some questions, some clarifying questions, try and give some resolve or some tools. And that's pretty much what a session looks like.

2 (16m 46s):
And then we repeat and repeat and repeat until the client feels, Hey, I have all the tools in my tool bag that I feel are necessary. And then we tell them, look, you've graduated from us. You don't need us anymore. You can always check back in. If you guys have a hiccup, we're always here for you. And unless there's a major issue moving forward, really just check in with us, you know, and that's pretty much what a coaching relationship looks like, which is very different than a therapeutic relationship.

1 (17m 15s):
Okay. And I'll ask you about that in a second, but the coaching relationship, it really sounds a lot like the relationship between a coach and an athlete is, is that, is that reading it right?

2 (17m 29s):
Yeah. That's actually a very good way to put it.

1 (17m 33s):
Okay. Now the same question for therapeutic relationship, what will they, what will they experience

3 (17m 41s):
Well? So the therapeutic relationship is a lot different than the coaching relationship because I have specialty training that the coaches don't have. And that's me with the anxiety, the depression, the trauma, all of that stuff that I've focused on for so many years and then add onto it, the sex therapy. So a licensed therapist, they're highly trained in dealing with the mental health topics like depression, anxiety, infidelity, and so much more. What we do is therapists identify a person like in a person's life when they're, what's causing them to be stuck from progressing and from living a really healthy life.

3 (18m 23s):
And so the therapist really helps clients with emotional regulation, improved communication skills. We strengthen self-esteem, we promote behavior change. We really dig deep and figure out what the cause of the issue is. We make some connections, we unpack it. And yeah, we just really work on that very deep, deep level, lots of tears, sometimes lots of laughter. And you never know what you're going to get in a session.

1 (18m 50s):
Yeah. I guess sex therapy must get a little bit tricky because, you know, and relationship obviously as well, but I mean, sex therapy has gotta be, I dunno, more than a little bit sensitive because I mean, I've been, I've been, I've done relationship therapy with my, with my wife before we were married. And I, I have a pretty good idea of how that goes, but I, I have a little trouble imagining, okay. I go in and I talk to people about our sex lives. That's gotta be a lot more touchy.

3 (19m 27s):
It can be, it can be absolutely. But at the same time, the people coming in have been living with this for so long that they finally got the courage to say, I can't do this anymore and I need help. So they're already coming in with a mindset of, okay, we've been dealing with this for so many years, so many months, whatever, and we just need some outside help. And so they're, they're already really receptive to it. So the sensitivity is not as great as what you would think for like, you know, just somebody going to therapy and then all of a sudden sex gets brought up.

1 (19m 59s):
Hmm. Okay. So how is sex therapy and coaching different from regular therapy? There must be some big differences.

2 (20m 8s):
Yeah. So there is so and correct me if I'm wrong, hon. So a sex therapist is also a licensed mental health professional, but they have an extensive education and training within sex therapy. So, you know, topics like sexual function, lack of desire, mix-match libidos, intimacy and fidelity all the way to, you know, past sexual trauma, maybe childhood trauma, you know, erectile, disappointments, painful intercourse, how to have healthy sex communication is also very much a big thing involved with that. Did I miss anything? Huh?

3 (20m 48s):
No, you didn't. Yeah. We spend a lot of hours focused on sex. Sex has been my focus. What for the last three years now? Yeah. All things sex, good, bad and ugly.

1 (21m 4s):
It's been my focus for 64 years. So

3 (21m 8s):
I agree with that now. See, I study sex sexology. I love to have sex. And I've been doing that for quite a while. But the study of sex I've been engrossed in for about three years solid. No

1 (21m 24s):
You don't, you, you we've met, you've mentioned Fox. You've mentioned a mix-matched libidos a few times. Talk about that issue. How prevalent is it and how do you fix it?

2 (21m 39s):
Okay. So I'm gonna do my best and I'm going to let Stephanie definitely chime in, cause this is, this is really her thing, but I have, I have been learning along the way. So to my understanding, you know, mix-match libidos, a lot of people take that personally because one partner or more partners, depending on what your relationship status looks like is either a lot more highly sexual than the other or others. And then of course the opposite. And a lot of people tend to take that personally, like, well, that has to do with me, right? So for instance, if I woke up tomorrow and for whatever reason, I am now hyper hyper-sexual where let's say, you know, Stephanie is hypo sexual.

2 (22m 21s):
You know, I may look at my wife and go, well, it's my fault. Or I'm not attractive enough or I'm not trying hard enough or she's bored with me or she's cheating on me or, you know, or, or, or, and there's a bunch of oars when the true issue behind that. Normally commonly, I actually don't like the word normal commonly is either miscommunication. It's something within the person's body. So the chemical makeup, their body's behaving differently.

1 (22m 53s):
Yeah.

2 (22m 53s):
Or again, communication. I mean, communication is huge. When it comes to mix, match will be is because sometimes the person doesn't even know what's happening with them. They just know that they are not lacking sex in the same pattern or frequency that they used to share that because I see you're looking at me like, oh, but there's more

3 (23m 17s):
Also part of Ms. Special DDoS is there could be something that a client is hanging on to from 20 years ago. And once we get down and we start breaking down all of their, their breaks and their accelerators and all of that fun stuff that Emily and the gossipy talks about, it might come out that, you know, at one point you said that I looked terrible in this lingerie and I've held that on. I've held that forever. And now I don't ever want to wear lingerie and I never want to have sex again because of what you said 20 years ago. And that was a shock to some people that the partners are like, what, where did that come from? And so really diving deep and trying to figure out what the base of it is.

3 (23m 58s):
There's always a root to it, unless there's something hormonal or there is something medically wrong. I always tell the very first thing I ask is, have you been to your doctor and have you had your hormones tested? Have you have your testosterone tested? What do we, what are we working with with those levels? Because as we age those levels decrease, and that's a real thing that can really cause mismatched libidos. But if it's all on the up and up and everybody's healthy, okay. From the doctor, then we start digging deep and you know, if they can't overcome this, then we get to look at different styles of relationships. What can we do to help, to help with, to help you guys overcome this and stay as a couple or a threat or whatever the dynamics are.

1 (24m 43s):
Hmm. You, you mentioned, you guys have mentioned communications a lot, which obviously that's, that's huge when we're talking about relationships, how many issues that you have people present to, you have to do with nothing more than communications?

3 (25m 4s):
I would say 80%, if not more.

1 (25m 8s):
Okay. Okay.

3 (25m 11s):
And I say this, we are not taught how to communicate. We weren't taught that in school. We weren't taught that most of us weren't taught that from our parents and we don't have healthy relationships to model our new or existing relationships after the templates, suck Hollywood templates suck. You know, your parents probably weren't the best, but you know, here we are just trying to make it. So no one really has that template to go off of that's when you, that's why they're happy. Even if it's a coach or anything is so awesome for any couple, because we provide you with that narrative, that language, those skills that you weren't taught ever.

1 (25m 47s):
Yeah. Yeah. They don't, they don't have school for relationships. Do they?

3 (25m 52s):
Not at all. They don't even have sex education in most places.

1 (25m 55s):
Yeah. Yeah. They had that one that they had that when I was in high school when many, many eons ago, and I, I hear they've eliminated. How, how much of a problem is that

2 (26m 6s):
That is a huge problem, especially here in the United States, because there is no one way to teach sex education. It is state by state. And depending on your geographical location, depends on what type of sex education you get. And in some states sex education is a mere sentence of don't have sex until you're married because it's a sin end quote and sex education. You've now been taught. So reframe use abstinence until you're married and then only use sex for procreation. It's absolutely terrible. So a lot of our kids nowadays are learning from porn, social media, tick talk, a whatever website they can conjure up without looking at the sources.

2 (26m 54s):
I mean, it's just, it's, it's, it's outrageous. And it's scary.

1 (26m 58s):
How much of a problem is that for the adults that these people become?

3 (27m 3s):
Well, they have unrealistic ideation, unrealistic expectations. Well, I can talk of what sex is. So if you're raised on Hollywood porn and you think that sex well, that's completely unrealistic. And so they're going to have lots of disappointments when they're starting to have sex and it doesn't look like that. The woman doesn't sound like that. You know, he's not having just mindblowing life, altering sex every single time. And so people get confused and they really, man, those, those unrealistic expectations can kick you in the ass and then you get into a relationship and you know, you, you expect one thing and that's not, that's not going to happen.

1 (27m 44s):
Yeah. Yeah. And you also mentioned porn now. We're obviously very, very porn positive on this podcast. And you know, I, I, I broke her websites in the adult space. You folks are, are very much a part of the adult industry and then the kink community. But how much of a problem is it when young people watch porn and expect that that's kind of the way things are. And again, I'm not looking to bat, I'm not looking to bash porn because there's enough people doing that for us. But how, how much, how much of that as a problem?

2 (28m 25s):
Well, considering, and I was on Playboy for a short time, I'm going to let Stephanie answer that, but it's, it can be a problem if they don't know what they're properly looking at. Oh yeah.

3 (28m 37s):
If they get ahold of ethical porn that is more realistic, they're going to see bodies that look like theirs. They're going to see maybe some more jiggle in, in some of the stomachs or little butts, you know? And so it's not, they're not perfect. They're going to see all those of all shapes, colors, sizes, and you know, they're not looking for that porno. Perfect pussy is what I like to call it, but they're, so it just really depends on the type of porn they're exposed to. Yeah. If it's the ethical porn and we've got some really good variations in representation, then I don't see anything wrong with that.

3 (29m 19s):
But when we get into that unrealistic Hollywood and I call it Hollywood porn, that, and that's what we were all

1 (29m 26s):
Raised born. Yeah.

2 (29m 29s):
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's also, you know, ethical porn doesn't always have a cum shot. Doesn't, you know, not every single woman takes it in their mouth or in her butt or on her face or in her eyeballs or, you know, all these other unrealistic things that last yeah, exactly. You know, it's just, that is not what sex looks like all the time. That's not even what sex looks like most of the time.

3 (29m 55s):
Yeah. I think I've only had sex like that, but just a handful of times.

1 (29m 60s):
Yeah. And also you don't want the women to expect a 12 inch cock or the men do expect, you know, massive, massive breasts and a perfect body because then they get disappointed.

3 (30m 11s):
Yeah,

2 (30m 12s):
Exactly.

1 (30m 13s):
So what are the most common questions a sex therapist gets from clients? Give me some,

3 (30m 20s):
Okay. So some, the most ones am I normal? Everybody wants to know, am I normal? Yeah. What the hell is normal? That's my question to them. What the hell is normal? So I, everybody, yes. That's just my question. My answer to every question. Yes you are. Well, okay. Well what does that mean? I don't know what that means, but your normal dammit. Move on another question.

1 (30m 50s):
I see the, I see the attraction immediately. Fox feisty, feisty. I love it. I love it.

3 (30m 58s):
And I, I'm not even going to say, unfortunately, fortunately what you see here and what you hear here is what you also get in the office because I'm, I'm real. I'm not going to have anybody. I don't know. I don't blow air up. Anybody's skirt. I guess the best way to say it. Another common question is can I learn to orgasm

1 (31m 18s):
And your answer?

3 (31m 20s):
I'm sorry. He's looking at me crazy. And I don't know what he's doing.

2 (31m 23s):
No, I want to go next after you're done talking about,

3 (31m 28s):
I think it like slow down those hand signals and let me answer questions. So yes, you can learn to orgasm. Now is the orgasm going to look the way you expect it to look? Probably however we can get there. It's it's a slow buildup over time. And so there are so many, I have a, a course that we've, we're going to be putting up on our website and it's, it's going to teach women how to orgasm and teach men how to help their women orgasm.

1 (31m 55s):
Nice. Yeah. Well that's and that's that's and that's just so important to that. That both sides are, are looking out for the other

2 (32m 5s):
Yeah. A hundred percent. So another one we get, and this is from men and women is what's the average penis size is mine too small, too big, too thick, too skinny, you know, is anyone going to appreciate it? Am I going to be able to give someone pleasure with this thing? And it's, you know, what's good for the goose may not be good for the Gander and vice versa. That's true. Not every woman or man wants a 12 inch penis. I can tell you. Yeah. I have one prior military buddy that was 11 and a half inches. And the blood flow issue he had was outrageous. And he could only stay hard for about 15 minutes.

1 (32m 45s):
Oh God.

2 (32m 46s):
You know, it's, we're taught as kids or I was taught as a kid, you know, back in the late seventies size matters. It means everything. Okay. You know, you say that. And then since I've gotten to the world of sex, I can tell you that does size matter to a certain extent. Okay? Sure. Does it mean because you're smaller than the average person that you can't provide? Pleasure. Okay. No, every woman's vagina and vulva is shaped differently. The depths are different. The canals are different. So you just have to match yourself with someone that can appreciate your size. You also have your tongue and your hands and your words and the rest of your body.

2 (33m 30s):
Not everything has to be about penetration.

1 (33m 32s):
Big time, big time, not too

3 (33m 36s):
One question that we get a lot and I love this one is, do you watch me have sex? Are you going to have sex with me?

2 (33m 43s):
Know, are you going to put on a whistle and a coach's uniform? Cause your ex-coach right.

1 (33m 48s):
You know, I, you know, I I'm getting, I'm getting that picture and, and in my mind, and it's pretty fucking hilarious. I, I think there's actually, I think if a, if a, if an enterprising porn producer is listening here, I think there might be a scene in this.

3 (34m 3s):
Oh, absolutely. I have the costume. Cause we joke about it when we go to hedonism to, for sports, not

2 (34m 11s):
At legitimately.

1 (34m 12s):
Oh God. Yeah. I went, I went there once. Unfortunately it was Christmas week, bad week to go.

2 (34m 18s):
I was going to say there's a unfortunately in, Hito usually never enter the same sentence.

3 (34m 23s):
I've never heard that before.

1 (34m 25s):
This is true. This is true. So what, what's your answer to that? How do you, how do you address the, the, a whistle and the coach's uniform?

3 (34m 36s):
I always say, well, I hate to disappoint you, but no, I will not be watching. You have sex and I will not be having sex with you. And I can tell you about I'm about 30% of the husbands are like what? Or, you know, 30% of the people were like, what I'm like, okay. Well,

2 (34m 54s):
I don't tell her about half of the emails that we get asked, w one always requesting Stephanie and I'm like, well, that's the way it should be anyway. But B with that actual same question, you know, Hey, does this mean you're coming to our house? No, no,

1 (35m 14s):
Love it. Love it. So is sex therapy and coaching mainly for non-monogamous people?

2 (35m 22s):
So, no, absolutely not. It's for any, you know, it's not even just for couples it's for any person or persons, couple, whatever that looks like that, you know, either a, wants to jump ahead because we have a lot of young couples now that come to us right out the gate, they just started dating or they're talking about marriage and they come to us and say, okay, we don't want to screw anything up. So here we are. And there's no real underlining issue. It's just maintenance. Right. Exactly. You know, and then it's just for anyone that feels that they may need guidance advice, or they have an ailment or an issue or concern.

2 (36m 3s):
So really it's for anybody non-monogamy or monogamy has nothing to do with whether you should come to sex therapy or coaching or not.

1 (36m 11s):
Okay.

3 (36m 11s):
I would like to add to that as well. It's for, it's definitely for individuals. So I have, I have a handful of male clients right now who are struggling with micro penises and, you know, they just don't feel like there'll be able to perform or, you know, they're struggling with different areas of their, of their anatomy. And so that's been fun too. I mean, you don't have to be in a couple to work with people or to work with a sex therapist or sex coach. I mean, it's, you could come by yourself because I mean, you have sex with yourself, don't you?

1 (36m 47s):
All right. Try. So EYI has a podcast tell us about it.

2 (36m 55s):
Sure. So we it's evolve your intimacy with Stephanie and Fox. You can find it on any major podcast platform. I just say, go to our website, evolve all your intimacy.com and you can find it there. And we talk about the unknown subjects, the taboo, and we bring a lot of professionals on that are experts in their specific field. We also bring on couples and individuals as well. And you know, we get into those real conversations, real conversations. Like we had a gentlemen on that had a, had penis surgery and he had a penis pump placed into him.

1 (37m 35s):
And

2 (37m 36s):
We talked for a whole hour about him, you know, his journey, his wife's journey. Cause their journeys were separate concerning the event, you know, and then what their sex looks like now, what their intimacy looks like, you know? So we do that. And then we interview people like Dr. Ari Tuckman. And we talk about, Hey, when you have ADHD, how does that affect your sex life or doesn't because it absolutely does. It definitely, you know, alters your choices within your sexuality. So we talk about pretty much everything. And, and then of course, every now and then we talk about our own personal sex life, but that's far in between, but there are some episodes in there.

3 (38m 19s):
Yeah.

1 (38m 21s):
That's awesome. Sounds exciting. So what's in the future for AYI.

3 (38m 27s):
Wow. So much we have workshops. We have a coaching platform that, ah, it's got to be built. It's being built. It's built. It's just not live yet. We have workshops, we have

2 (38m 44s):
Self study courses.

3 (38m 45s):
Self-help I mean, there's so much what our goal is to help people have, I guess, find a common language and talk about sex, but also to, to remove the shame and stigma, because coming from Texas, the south sex is just not a common subject around here. And if it is, we'll just bless your heart. You just need to go to church.

2 (39m 11s):
It's really,

1 (39m 12s):
That's so true.

2 (39m 13s):
Yeah. So our main goal is just to have an all encompassing, you know, platform that it's built into our name that truly helps people evolve, their intimacy, whatever that looks like to them, any dynamic period.

3 (39m 29s):
Absolutely.

1 (39m 31s):
So what's your advice for others in open relationships?

2 (39m 35s):
Ooh, that's a loaded question. Yeah.

1 (39m 39s):
Go for it.

2 (39m 40s):
I'm going to, I'm going to say, so I've been in alternative relationships for over 23 years now, between swinging non-monogamy and polyamory. I would say 100% communication. If you don't talk, I can't listen. If we don't talk, you can't listen. And if neither one of us talk, neither one of us can be heard and therefore we can't understand each other. You know, communication is a, it's a very scary thing. For many people, fear judgment. They fear the reaction, you know, and they fear being chastised open up. You would be absolutely amazed at the response that you will get from your partner.

2 (40m 25s):
If you bring up whatever sexual based concern you have just directly and openly and sure, but don't attack them on it. You know, just say, Hey, this is what I'm looking for. This is how I've evolved. Do you want to jump on this train with me and just have that honest and true conversation.

3 (40m 45s):
I want to add to that. Of course, of

2 (40m 48s):
Course.

3 (40m 50s):
I want to give permission to anybody and everybody who's listening right now that want to do something different in their relationship. I want to give you permission to do it. You get to design your relationship any way you want it. It doesn't matter what society says. Religion says, your mom says your aunt says it doesn't matter. This is your relationship. And as of today, I'm giving you permission to begin marriage. Number two, relationship number two, and use all the information that you have and all the, the pain, the memories, the good, bad, the ugly from before this today and use all of that to create it. However you want it to look, it's yours to design and I give you permission to design your relationship.

1 (41m 34s):
Nice. Nice. Yeah. I mean, there really are no rules right

2 (41m 39s):
There. Shouldn't be,

3 (41m 40s):
There shouldn't be, but there are

2 (41m 42s):
Societies as

1 (41m 43s):
Society has rules. But my, but my point is, I mean, there was a time where there wasn't anywhere where gay people could get married. Now there is, but I mean the, the norms are, they're really more norms are not rules, but if you're in a relationship, you really don't have rules, right?

3 (42m 2s):
Yeah. Boundaries and those should be negotiated within the, within the dynamic of the threat bull couple individually.

2 (42m 9s):
Well, you know, I think maybe if we're talking on rules, the only rule should be love or care, whatever that looks like to you. Cause you know, not everyone in relationship is in love and that's fine if you're trying to benefit the relationship and not just yourself, you're going to go very, very far.

1 (42m 31s):
Yeah.

2 (42m 32s):
You know, Stephanie said something, actually I think she typed something just the other day. And I, I just, I never even thought about this. And I was like, this is truly amazing. You know, when clients come to us, we don't treat the client. We treat the situation.

1 (42m 47s):
Yeah.

2 (42m 48s):
And that's what we go after. And, and we tell them that, you know, you're the client, but really our client is whatever situation you've put in front of us, the relationship, the relationship or the dynamic of what you're trying to resolve, especially, you know, because we do have some individuals that come to us as well. That's what we're treating. And that's what we're providing guidance for. It's not for you as a person because you're bias and you're going to have certain wants versus needs. And they may not be positive for you or whatever relationship that you're in. And we're going to be honest about that.

1 (43m 23s):
Fantastic guys. I, I was really looking forward to this and now I know why Stephanie and Fox I'd like to thank you once again for being our guests today on adults. I broke her talk and I hope we'll have a chance to do it again really soon.

2 (43m 38s):
Absolutely. We

3 (43m 39s):
Appreciate it. Thank you.

1 (43m 40s):
Thank you. My broker tip today is part one on how to buy a site. The first question to ask yourself is what kind of site would you like to buy? Would you like a tube site, a campsite, a dating site, a membership site, a social media site or something else. If you want to buy a membership site, what type of site do you want and what niche? There were literally hundreds of niches and many sub niches. For instance, let's say you want to buy a gay site under gay there's bears are mature, bareback, Asian, Latino, amateur by black Euro and fetish, along with many fetishes under that classification. Plus there's hardcore jocks, porn stars, solo trans twinks and uniforms straight has even more sub-niche I can't tell you how many people contact me and just say, I want to buy a site or I want to buy a pay site.

1 (44m 35s):
I obviously need more information than that. How you make this decision should be based on these factors. What interests you, what you enjoy should definitely play a part in what you buy. If you'd like man, and want to make money on a straight site, that's probably a really bad idea. Same thing. If you're straight and want to buy a gay site. So what you like plays apart. What's your budget. This is something you need to establish at the very beginning. Not only do you need to know what it is you're working with, but some classifications of sites are more expensive than others. For instance, if you want to buy a campsite with any traffic or revenue at all, you're going to need a lot of money. In fact, to buy any established and successful site, it's going to be really expensive.

1 (45m 21s):
If you buy a site, that's pretty much just a platform without traffic or sales, you'll need a huge investment to build it up. In that case, it might actually be as good or better just to start your own site. That way you get exactly what it is you're looking for. We'll talk about this subject more next week and next week we'll be speaking with Ivan of alt erotic.

And that's it for this week's Adult Site Broker Talk. I'd once again like to thank my guests Stephanie and Fox. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I'm Bruce Friedman.