Speaker 1 (0s): This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker and welcome to Adult Site Broker Talk, where every week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry, and we discuss what's going on in our business. Plus we give you a tip on buying and selling websites this week. This week we'll be speaking with Steph Sia of the Podcast Stripped by Sia.
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Check out ASB-Cash-dot-com for more details and to sign up. Now let's feature our property the week that's for sale at Adult Site Broker. We're proud to offer for sale a successful gay site that has increased revenues and profits year over year for a decade. The site has 835 active members. The average monthly content cost is less than $2,000. This year's average monthly net profit is over $18,000.
The best part about the site is that it basically runs itself. The director producer is happy to continue handling all the content, production, editing, and updates. All you have to do is to continue to take care of payroll and you'll make your complete return on your investments safely and quickly. The content is hardcore gay porn with a strategic focus on a few niches, which all have been fine tuned for over 10 years into dependable, underserved markets. All of the content is exclusive with an influx of cash and a dedicated team to help grow the brand.
There's a lot of opportunity. Some of the content is on d d and vod, but there's a huge opportunity to increase VOD revenue streams. Best of all, if the buyer doesn't change anything, it will continue and make a significant profit only $990,000. Now time for this week's interview. My guest today and adult side broker talk is Steph Sia from the podcast Stripped by Sia. Steph, thanks for being with us today, an adult side broker talk.
Speaker 2 (2m 53s): So excited and thank you so much for having me, Bruce.
Speaker 1 (2m 56s): Thanks for being here. Now Steph Sia is a stripper, a digital content creator and pole dance instructor based in Vancouver, Canada. She's the host of the Sex Worker podcast strip by Sia, and she always enjoys a good bowl of noodles, much like my Thai wife Strip By is a podcast dedicated to destigmatizing the sex industry by sharing the lived experiences of the workers. Steph Sia, a sex worker of varying mediums, invites different guests onto the show from all corners of the adult industry to provide a transparent approach to the work that we do.
Each episode tackles a topic that affects sex workers with the aim to educate those who both are and who aren't in our industry, as well as humanize and legitimize it. Join Steph every Sunday for new episodes, wherever find podcasts are found, and on Patreon at patreon.com/strip by C. That's spelled s i a to see the video exclusive content. So how was the commercial Steph?
Speaker 2 (4m 9s): It was spot on. It was excellent. Check, check, check. You crossed it all off the list. Thank you so much for that fire intro. I
Speaker 1 (4m 16s): I, I do my best. So Steph, what was your entry into sex work?
Speaker 2 (4m 22s): Oh gosh. Well, I, there's a couple different things here. So I have a few different phases when it comes to sex work, so, okay. I guess my official intro to sex work would actually be as a sugar baby. And this is probably about, yeah, almost a decade ago. And I had joined a very, I guess, well recognized website that is known for sugaring that was introduced to me by my roommate at the time. And basically, this is kind like around the same time that Tinder came around and my friend was like, Oh, why go on these dating apps when you can get, you know, paid to be on dates?
And I was like, Oh, well, sounds kind of interesting.
Speaker 1 (5m 1s): Exactly,
Speaker 2 (5m 2s): Try, yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (5m 3s): It's great to be, it's, it's great to be a girl. I'm envious.
Speaker 2 (5m 7s): It worked out and she was completely right. I was very, very interested in doing that and made a lot of sense to me. And yes, I really believe in making a bit of money. So that happened. And you know, I, I would say that like that's my first official kind of intro into sex work. Although at the time I wasn't really aware of it being work at that time. Yeah. So like that to me upon like reflection that that would be it.
But if you'd asked me that, like same question about five years ago, I would've said stripping. So in my entry into the strip industry was about six years ago when I decided to enter an amateur night contest. And yeah, the rest is history for, that's pretty self explanatory,
Speaker 1 (5m 58s): Is that, you know, the whole term sex work has really morphed in recent years, especially in the last couple years, I'd say. It used to be if someone said sex work, they were strictly talking about prostitution. Right Now it, it has a much wider meaning. Have you, have you noticed that?
Speaker 2 (6m 21s): Oh, absolutely. It's definitely come a long way and, and as you mentioned, like that's like how my mom thinks when she thinks of the term sex work, she thinks it's prostitution or escorting, you know, you're having sex for money. And now I feel like the term, at least to me in my own definition, that really encompasses a wide range of adult related occupations. And some people would even argue that stripping isn't included with that. But I definitely would say it is for sure.
But the term itself has definitely come a long way. And I think it's because a lot of the terms that we once used before, they've had derogatory, derogatory terms and, and stuff associated with it. And now I feel like sex work as a term is, is almost like a PC way of addressing like adult workers.
Speaker 1 (7m 17s): Yeah. And I, I think that it really now entails everyone who's involved with the adult industry, including what I do.
Speaker 2 (7m 26s): Yeah, definitely. I mean, it's basically encompasses everyone who's within the adult industry for sure. Like people that on my show, not just people that are in front of the camera or performers, but everyone as you mentioned, who is involved as well. So,
Speaker 1 (7m 43s): Absolutely. Absolutely. Now, how have your experiences doing sex work changed over the years?
Speaker 2 (7m 51s): Oh gosh. I feel like it's constantly changing. I'm constantly evolving in learning and educating myself through the people that I bring on my show and just more and more that I like hear about every single day. And basically, oh gosh, I feel like when I first kind of stumbled into sex work, I was really naive before and didn't really have a firm understanding of what the work was. Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't really count sugaring, for example, as sex work.
But of course now because I'm super involved in many different aspects of the sex industry, I can really see the value and the hard work that goes into the work that it is that we do. And really, how do I say it? Like for me, it really is legitimized as opposed to before I would always like maybe kind of brush it off in terms of like, Oh, it's just like a side gig or it's a side hustle or, and I wouldn't take full ownership of it.
Right. And now it's something I definitely like, it's public knowledge everywhere. If you know me, you'll know that I'm associated with sex work in some capacity. So it's definitely changed a lot. It's my, I've been through an entire like evolution when it comes to sex work in my own personal journey and it's been a wild ride, let me tell you that.
Speaker 1 (9m 18s): And proud of it.
Speaker 2 (9m 18s): Right? Yeah, definitely proud of it. It's, it's been one of the best things that's ever, ever happened to me
Speaker 1 (9m 25s): For sure. That's awesome. Now, what has sex work taught you?
Speaker 2 (9m 29s): Oh wow. Well, it's definitely taught me to have empathy. I think empathy to understand where people are coming from, understand their stories, to be an active listener and to understand that not everything can be taken at face value. And there's usually more to the story behind that. And I feel there is just, there's so many stories and there's so much to offer from sex workers and so much to learn from sex workers and from our community that are, it's really, really powerful.
Like we have powerful stories to share. Oftentimes, you know, in the media we're often, there's lots of misconceptions or misunderstood and honestly, I'm kinda tired of people, other people telling our stories for us. So yes, I feel like it's our time to give people a platform and for us to really listen and take people seriously. So it's, it's definitely taught me a lot about, yeah, I guess that word is empathy for me cuz it's just taught me to better understand people as a whole.
Speaker 1 (10m 46s): Now, besides empathy, what else have you learned? You said you've learned a lot from sex workers. Yeah. What have you learned?
Speaker 2 (10m 54s): Oh, business acumen. Yeah, just business in general. Like I just feel like I had zero sense of like any kind of sales skills before or marketing even, even just administrative duties. A lot of stuff you, you, when you come into sex work, you don't realize all of the extra stuff that goes on in the background or the video editing or the audio editing, right. Or right.
All the editing that you know goes on behind the scenes that you don't see from the finished product. Right. That to me has been such a great learning that I have taken away from the industry. And also, like another big one to me is just boundaries and learning more about consent, learning my own boundaries and like what I can tolerate, what I will not tolerate as well.
Those have been really, really big ones for me. Cuz again, if you talk to me like 10 years ago when I was first starting out, I, I didn't have any of this stuff. Yeah. Again, I didn't treat it as a job, I didn't treat it as a career. I didn't take anything seriously in that kind of sense. So those to me are really, really big things that I've taken away from my time in the industry. And again, I'm still constantly learning more and more every day from the community.
There's a lot to learn. Like even today I was learning about, I think I saw an article about visa and MasterCard being suspended for from port. So like, just stuff like that. Like there's just so many things that can have like a, a domino effect from that. And yeah. And I, that's like a whole entire topic that we don't have time to go into today, but, but things like that and just, gosh, I mean, what else?
There really is a lot. But those are, those are three big buckets I think that I've definitely kind of to from sex work, so. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13m 12s): I think a lot of people, well especially people outside the business don't realize it's a business, but even a lot of people inside the business don't really treat it like a business.
Speaker 2 (13m 23s): Yeah. Yeah. I was definitely guilty of that for a while. And you really have to, to be successful and like, I mean you gotta learn from somewhere and at some point and like you can really take your business from, from here to going all the way up here by just adopting a few of these principles. And I feel like everyone needs to like take a business course from one of the ex sex in in our community for sure. You can learn a lot.
Speaker 1 (13m 54s): Yeah, you can. And you can also learn a lot from talking to people and going on the forums like, like ex and and asking questions and
Speaker 2 (14m 3s): Oh
Speaker 1 (14m 3s): Yeah. Really leaning on some of the people that have been around a long time. And I, I know there's also some good model forums and yeah. As well as social media groups.
Speaker 2 (14m 15s): Tons. Yeah, there's tons of resources out there. So discord groups that I'm a part of, Facebook groups that I'm a part of as well. Again, just learning from the people that I bring onto my show was another thing. Even on Twitter, just conversations just on my Twitter that I see in my feet are topics of conversation that come up. There's so many learning opportunities there and I feel like as you mentioned, people should lean into that.
They really want upgrade their game in this industry. For sure.
Speaker 1 (14m 54s): Now, besides what we just talked about, what other skills have you gained from sex work?
Speaker 2 (15m 0s): Oh man. Honestly, like valuing myself, I think that's a big thing that I definitely learned for sure. Like, and what I mean by that is just like charging what I am valued at and what I deserve. Yes. You know, and again, and that is slightly related to what we were talking about earlier too, because like it's more than just picking a number, it's also like your time and your energy that goes into, say when you make a custom video or something, the time it takes for you to get ready, the equipment that you're using to film the equipment you're using to edit the mic, lighting your outfits, your makeup, your nails, your hair, all of that
Speaker 1 (15m 48s): Stuff. Your overhead.
Speaker 2 (15m 49s): Your overhead. Yeah. The toys you use, like so many things to come into account and I feel a lot of the times we can get bullied by clients or low by clients and I, you just have to kind of stand your ground. And of course sometimes it takes a couple years of experience to kind of find your footing in that. But that's been a huge thing for me, especially in, in the last few years too, just really owning what I do and being like, well these are my rates.
Like take it or leave it and, and really being confident in that and I think that is something everyone should definitely learn and take into account as well is so important, so, so important.
Speaker 1 (16m 41s): Unfortunately that's not the case with most people. I mean yeah. I just find that people don't really value their time or properly or value their services properly.
Speaker 2 (16m 56s): Yeah. And I think that people really need to look at that a bit more seriously because Yeah. I mean for me, my time is literally money. Like, I run a really, really tight ship. I have a very like insane schedule. So every minute counts and I really wanna make sure that like I'm putting the right energy right into things and being really purposeful about the work that I'm doing. It's really not a good use of my time if I'm kind of dilly-dallying and wasting on people that don't see the same value or see the value in the work that I'm pointing out there.
Yeah. Those are not the type of clients that I wanna attract, not the people I really wanna be associated or affiliated with. So
Speaker 1 (17m 44s): I agree. So I agree so much. Cause I, cause I go through it in my business and just, just this morning, yes, I had an email exchange with the guy and it was pretty obvious that he just wasn't worth my time. I hate to, I hate to put it in those terms, but, but, but this guy just was really clueless. Well I mean the, the asking questions like, well can I buy this with no money down?
Speaker 2 (18m 17s): No. Any
Speaker 1 (18m 18s): Other questions? Yeah, I mean, because because we, we, we pride ourselves on having valuable good properties, websites, companies that we sell and you know, it's like what would the logic be to take no money down? You know, we're not a, we're not a bank, we're not selling cars here anyway, continue. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (18m 44s): But yeah, I mean, you understand where you, where I'm coming, right?
Speaker 1 (18m 48s): Oh, completely. Completely. You know, I'm polite enough, I'm polite enough to always reply and I reply promptly. That's, that's, you know, the old school in me is that, is that I don't let things sit around. I always reply. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about
Speaker 2 (19m 5s): It. No, no and no, I agree. I agree though because like, you can kind of tell off the bat if you're not aligning with someone or someone's not aligned with what you're looking for or what you stand for, then you're just like, well it's just not gonna work out. Let's just like cut it off. Make it easy,
Speaker 1 (19m 25s): Big time.
Speaker 2 (19m 26s): Yes.
Speaker 1 (19m 27s): So what is, what's been the best part of being in this industry for you?
Speaker 2 (19m 33s): Yeah, I mean this is an easy one for me. It's the community. And what I mean by that is just all the people that I've met during my time here, it's been awesome. Like I have really never met a community where I really feel like I've belonged. Yeah. And, and so quickly too, cause sometimes when you get into a community, sometimes it takes like some growing pains or takes some time for you to feel acquainted. Right. But I dunno, I've almost felt super welcomed in this industry since day one.
And everyone's super helpful wanting you to succeed and that's been so lovely and so comforting and I love that so much. I wish there are more communities that were like this, but there really isn't nothing quite like it.
Speaker 1 (20m 23s): It's very true. Yeah. You know, it's, it's interesting, you and I met at the why not reunion in, in Arizona. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Tempe and one thing I noticed, you were talking about marketing earlier and I meant to point this out, You are a good marketer. I could tell that right away with the lead cards you had, which is what I do, you might have noticed, you know, that I not only have a business card but, but I have a lead card. You know, it's just very unusual to find someone, especially on the performance side who has your marketing skills.
So congratulations on that.
Speaker 2 (20m 59s): Oh, thank you. That means so much to me. I,
Speaker 1 (21m 2s): Well it's true. I don't, I don't give, I don't give false praise to people. If I believe something I say it. If I don't, I just shut up. So
Speaker 2 (21m 12s): I think that maybe like I, I can attribute that to some of my administrative and marketing skills in my vanilla life too. Cause I also ha like I, in addition to sex work, I'm also a marketing consultant as well.
Speaker 1 (21m 28s): Well that doesn't surprise me. So you work in the mainstream world as well?
Speaker 2 (21m 33s): Yeah, sort of. So I don't work in an office anymore. I just, I take clients now doing regular just general communications and marketing, content management and newsletter email campaigns and stuff like that. Just picking, picking and choosing the things that I like to do. Sure. And working with the clients that I really like. So Yeah. And that has been awesome. So I'm glad you picked that up. That makes me
Speaker 1 (21m 57s): Well and that's gotta be really valuable. That's gotta be really valuable knowing what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (22m 2s): Yeah, I mean I think it definitely helps for sure. And I'm not saying that everyone needs to have a background in corporate or anything like that, but it certainly can help. And I mean vice versa though too, because I feel like a lot of questions that I sometimes get like, Oh, I like what kind of transferable skills can you bring to the civilian world from sex work? And I feel like it definitely goes both ways cuz as you mentioned earlier, we're like, we've learned so much in this industry and we can take that outside of the industry as well.
Yep, yep. And take it. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (22m 37s): I agree. I agree completely. My background's in marketing too, so there
Speaker 2 (22m 42s): We go.
Speaker 1 (22m 42s): Yeah, there's, there's no two ways about it. One, one can spot another. So what, what are some of the not so great experiences in sex work that you can share?
Speaker 2 (22m 53s): Oh man. Where do I start? I mean yeah, there's a lot of untrustworthy people in this industry Yeah. That might not have the best interests in mind Sure. For people. So for example, I am Yeah. In front of the camera. Yes. And I do my own videos and of course I need to do my own promo and stuff as well. So of course I've, I'm working with a lot of photographers. Yeah. Or at least I used to work with a lot of photographers before.
And then last year I actually, a model had contacted me via Instagram. Cause some of my photos were posted on this photographer's Instagram account. Cause I had worked with him before and they had messaged me a article and this article had stated that this person was arrested for voyeurism because another model had found a camera in one of the changing rooms.
Lovely. Yeah. Not so great stuff. So I had to go deal with the police in a complete different city in Canada and deal with that. But luckily that's all been dealt with. And that takes
Speaker 1 (24m 8s): Its clothes. There's so many jerk, there's so many jerk offs and curves out there.
Speaker 2 (24m 12s): There are like lots of, many dudes of the camera that exist in not just sex work. But yeah. I mean anything with like moding and whatnot, sexual assault can also happen as well. Sorry. Yeah. Due to the nature of some of the work that I do. And that's again, being early on during those sugar baby days, not really having those boundaries and not setting them properly and just not being strong enough to say no in certain situations.
Yeah. Or, or being bribed or being like, you know, dangling the carrot of like, you know, well if you do this then I'll pay you this more, this much more. And just again, not recognizing like, oh this is actually a red flag. Yeah. So those are definitely a couple experiences that like stick out for me and Sure. Unfortunately it and can be very commonplace with a lot of people within our industry. Yeah. So it's, yeah.
And I'm not saying that to scare anyone, but it's just unfortunately the reality that can happen to some people. So yes, it's really, really important to be communicative, have those boundaries set, know what your limits are. Right. When it comes to photography and stuff too, or videography, ask me for references, ask the referrals. Right. So all the stuff is super, super key information that I wish I had known or I wish that I had better prepared myself.
Right. But again, I'm taking them as big learnings, learning lessons, you know, to, to watch out for. And now with red flags as I proceed in the industry.
Speaker 1 (25m 59s): Yeah. It's, I'm sure it's not easy to be a beautiful woman in any way, sense or form. Having been raised by a woman, I'm a bit of a feminist more than a bit. And this kinda, when I hear, when I hear stuff like this, it really pisses me off. Okay. Yeah. So I'm sorry to hear that. Tell us about your podcast strip. I see it. And how did you get this started?
Speaker 2 (26m 27s): Yeah, well gosh, I mean by this time now it's been almost three years since I started the show. Wow. And yeah. Which is crazy to me. And that's been like consecutively every single week have not really taken a break at all. But it's been fun. And basically that started back in 2019 summer, in the summer when I was working at the club and one of my regulars there kind of just made a statement and was like, Oh yeah, strippers are really cool.
People, like a lot of you guys are just like, you know, are influencers and you have 10,000 of followers and you all lead such interesting lives outta the club. And I was like, yeah. Like we do. That's really interesting that, yeah. You hit it right on the head like that is correct. And then, Yep. I, I already knew that I wanted to do a podcast cuz I'm a big like avid podcast listener. I'm kind of a nerd like that but that
Speaker 1 (27m 26s): Makes, that makes one of, that makes one of us. But go ahead.
Speaker 2 (27m 31s): Yeah. So I was like, oh well this is really interesting and I have a lot of people and friends in the industry and I'm gonna do a show on this. And then two weeks later the first episode came out. Yeah. I guess the rest of his, the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (27m 44s): It's awesome. You got me, you got me by you got me by a year. I've done a little, little over two years now. Wow. So who have been your most memorable guest so far?
Speaker 2 (27m 55s): Oh my gosh, there's been so many. Bruce. I've done over 150 episodes now. So hard to choose. But there's definitely people that have come to mind and really just depends on the topic as well. But Dr. Raven Bowen, she is the CEO of National Ugly Mugs, which is like a non-profit organization based in the UK that helps benefit sex workers.
And we did a really cool episode on work balance and duality. So much like myself, as I mentioned earlier, I, I balance sex work out with some vanilla or civilian work. So it was really cool to have that conversation and just talk about the research she's done in the field and just to know that I'm not alone in this. Right. Right. Because I know a lot of people, they can look down at people that have civilian jobs too and like, Oh you're not doing this full time.
That means they're not really taking this seriously. Hmm. And that is not really the case for anyone. Sure. Or for other people. So. Sure. Yeah. Doctor Ring Bone was definitely one of my favorite people that I've interviewed. I've also interviewed and yeah, there's just a few here but like some sex trafficking survivors. So my Romero that I actually, that you might have met during the Why not reunion, she was there, She had a really, really compelling story on her experience when it came to sex trafficking.
I thought that was really powerful cause it's like how often do you ever get to hear from sex trafficking survivors? So I thought that was really awesome. Another friend of mine, Brent Ray Fraser who is an artist out here in, in Vancouver and he does art with his penis, which is really interesting and he's, yeah it sounds really funny and a little bit odd but like again I have a range of people on my show but he, that has taken him very, very far.
Speaker 1 (30m 16s): I'd say I'd like to see that but I really don't.
Speaker 2 (30m 20s): Maybe I'll send you something later. Interesting. But yeah, those are just a, a few to name but there's just been so many great people. I mean I recently interviewed with Cindy Starfall who is an amazing adult. Adult actress and cool too because it just, I always feel connected with those who are of Asian descent. Cause sometimes it's really hard to find people like us in the industry.
Was really cool to hear her experience and like how she came to be and just, you know, agreeing with so much of the conservativeness that comes along with being Asian and doing sex work and the pushback that we can get and the cultural pushback too and religious. So from all different sides. But yeah, that was such a fun and interesting conversation.
Speaker 1 (31m 20s): I live in Thailand, I know a lot about the, the whole thing so
Speaker 2 (31m 24s): Yeah. Yeah. A lot. A lot for sure.
Speaker 1 (31m 30s): So what are some highlights in your life that sex work has brought you?
Speaker 2 (31m 36s): Yeah, and that's such a great question. There's been a lot of great things have that have definitely come from sex work for sure. So I've gotten the opportunity recurring opportunities to guest lecture at a couple different universities in the United States and also my alma mater seventh grade university. So that's been really freaking cool.
Speaker 1 (31m 57s): Cool. That must nice.
Speaker 2 (32m 0s): It's been so nice cause I actually studied criminology back in the day. That was, that was what I majored in and it was really cool just to, yeah. And to come back to be invited to speak in their upper level criminology classes really was like, wow, this has come full circle for me. So that's been really quite the honor. So, So
Speaker 1 (32m 23s): When guys, so when you tell guys that you studied criminology, did they tell you that it's that it's okay if you put cuffs on them?
Speaker 2 (32m 30s): I get that all the time. Or you say
Speaker 1 (32m 33s): Oh well it wasn't, it wasn't original. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (32m 38s): I mean yeah, that's been a really, really cool experience or experiences have happened. I also have invited to speak and facilitate at some sex work festivals in Asia. So that's been really, really cool. I've also gotten the opportunity to also work with United Nations women Wow. Research. Yeah. Through sex work. So that's been really cool cuz I was able to help conduct research and conduct some focus groups with youth sex workers from around the world.
Speaker 1 (33m 15s): Awesome.
Speaker 2 (33m 16s): Yeah, so it's really create a lot of opportunities. I mean I've had like the CBC contact me for interviews or like, you know, ask me for comments and stuff. I just think all of those experiences have been just so cool and so wild to me. And just like never in my wildest dreams when I've thought like by starting the show I would've gone in these kind of really unique opportunities. Right. So yeah, I just feel incredibly blessed and just like full of gratitude to be awarded with these really rare and cool opportunities.
Speaker 1 (33m 52s): Awesome. Yeah. Well next time you come out to to Asia to speak you'll have to swing by.
Speaker 2 (33m 57s): Absolutely. I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34m 1s): Yeah. We, we got some pretty nice digs out here. It's blast. What's the best advice you can give someone who's considering entering into sex work?
Speaker 2 (34m 13s): Mm. Yeah. This is a really, really common question for sure. For all newbies that are out there. But yeah, for me it's, it's a couple things. Definitely do your research there. There's so much out there and akin to what we were saying earlier too with like the of blogs, the different Facebook groups and Reddit and forums and, and podcasts show on this show. Like there's so many resources out there that are free and that are accessible to you.
So it's really important to do that research and also to ask questions for, for those who are in the industry and a lot of us you just ask on Twitter or ask Instagram and we'd be happy to answer the questions. Sure. I mean, looking back at my time being a sugar baby, like it was so hush hush back, back in the day and that was like nine years ago. Yeah. And the fact that there weren't a lot of resources for me to look and read into.
I mean it's definitely come a long way now. Like and that and a sugar baby. Sure. Being a sugar baby. So like commonplace right. Nowadays as well. But yeah, definitely do your research on in regards to like what kind of avenue and sex work that you wanna go down to. And also, I talked about boundaries earlier, but I think it's really important to kind of establish your boundaries and, and know what those are. And you know, it's, it's okay to say no you don't have to do everything
Speaker 1 (35m 48s): Big time. Big time,
Speaker 2 (35m 50s): Big time. You know. And I feel like a lot of people feel like they have to offer everything and do everything under the sun in order to make in this industry. And I really think it's the opposite. I feel like you agreed be more niche.
Speaker 1 (36m 4s): Absolutely. If there's something you're not comfortable with doing, say no.
Speaker 2 (36m 8s): Yeah. You're absolutely allowed to say no, that's okay. I
Speaker 1 (36m 13s): Think the whole me too era has, has really reinforced that.
Speaker 2 (36m 18s): Oh for sure. I think that has, Yeah, absolutely. Like its really made a stronger case for us because you know, we don't have to do everything that's out there. You have a choice, you have a voice, Right. Use it.
Speaker 1 (36m 33s): Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36m 34s): Yeah. Those are like my words of advice writing anyone that is new coming into this. And also, I guess last piece of advice too is actually treat it like work
Speaker 1 (36m 45s): Big
Speaker 2 (36m 46s): Time. Treat it like your business that is so important. If you're gonna keep treating it as like a side gig or a side hustle or whatever, I don't think you're gonna take it seriously. And I don't think your clients will also take it seriously either. So.
Speaker 1 (37m 3s): And you won't succeed.
Speaker 2 (37m 5s): And you won't succeed. Exactly. So yeah, just know that it's real work. Cause there's too many times I've had these questions been asked to me and they just wanna do it for fun or whatnot, I'm just like, but you know, it's work. Right? Like, you know, it's sex work. Right? Yep. So I just really wanna like drive that point down to the ground cause it's really, really important.
Speaker 1 (37m 27s): It's really funny. You were talking about nine years ago and then in the same sentence you said back in the day, you have no idea how old that makes me feel. Okay. So what's your take on pole dance hobbyists and leisure dancers?
Speaker 2 (37m 46s): Oh yeah, That's like a big topic of big too big, big topic. And as a, as a person who is part of both worlds as an instructor and also as a stripper. Yeah. There's a huge debate between both because I mean, for the past couple years it's been like a whole hashtag not a stripper hashtag going around. Yeah. That being a thing for the past like probably three years now that's been going too many
Speaker 1 (38m 13s): Hashtags. Too many hashtags. So lord, anyway.
Speaker 2 (38m 17s): No and it's just, it's just bad because it just really taps into that hierarchy in terms of like, I'm separating myself and othering strippers. Yeah. And you know, I'm separating, I'm not one of those people. I'm not a stripper. Sounds
Speaker 1 (38m 33s): Like a form of bias really.
Speaker 2 (38m 35s): Totally. And it's completely problematic. And the fact that so many people, like even studio owners are still like behind this. Right. It's not healthy. And they should know that pole dancing and pole hobbyists and pole sport all originated from the strip club.
Speaker 1 (38m 56s): Hello. And
Speaker 2 (38m 58s): Yeah. Hello. I mean like it's not rocket science.
Speaker 1 (39m 1s): Yeah. These, these polls didn't just come down from outer space with no reason.
Speaker 2 (39m 8s): They just didn't erect themselves like that. Like Well and
Speaker 1 (39m 11s): Well, Well and don't you think that a lot of the casual pole dancing has to do with these women fantasizing about being a stripper?
Speaker 2 (39m 25s): Oh my gosh. And that's a huge part of it too. And that even boils down to like some of the aesthetic, like the stripper aesthetic that they wanna try to adopt. The whole clear shoe, clear heel trend that's going on in mainstream fashion is also can be contributed to stripper aesthetic. So there's a lot there and I just feel like, and I could really go into this, but like, we'll just keep it really light. I think it's really important that people that are not part of our industry, so the adult industry or the strip industry, to really think about what these, what their origins of their favorite sport could come from.
And also I also think it's like a responsibility to, you know, let students know like this is where it originates from. This is why we have exotic dance classes or exotic dance inspired classes and you know, they owe us a lot so. Right. I feel like we're having a time right now and I feel like a lot of people have opinions on this and as do I. And I really just feel like people need to understand that this kind of behavior and these kind of hashtags are not helping us at all.
Right. It's just the opposite. So. Sure.
Speaker 1 (40m 43s): So have you ever experienced, and I think you did slightly allude to this racism or fetishization within the industry?
Speaker 2 (40m 52s): Oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. As an Asian Canadian woman for sure. And not even within this industry, but just in general, just being catcalled and walking down the street and someone says like UA or whatever, or people like ask me in the club and outside the club they're like, Oh like are you Filipino? And I'm just like, why are you asking me that? And then they of course are trying their best to relate to me or find some kind of bonding connection like, oh you said data philippina and blah blah blah and proceeded telling you about your dating life.
And I was was like, Yeah. It's
Speaker 1 (41m 35s): Very, actually I'll be honest, I'm guilty sometimes of asking Asian Asians their nationality cuz I'm kind of curious if they're Thai or, or what. And I, I usually am a pretty good judge of who's what. But anyway I Yeah. Guilty of that and, And there's no malice involved. I'm just kind of curious.
Speaker 2 (41m 55s): Yeah. Yeah. I think like with curiosity I think it's totally fine. But I know like with some of the clientele that come to the club, like I know what they're alluding to and like, oh Filipinos are so hard working and blah blah blah and then just, just keep going and reinforcing this stereotype and it's
Speaker 1 (42m 12s): Just big time. It's
Speaker 2 (42m 13s): Just uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42m 17s): Yeah. While living out here, the stereotypes are all gone. So I mean that if I ever had those, which I probably did when I lived in the States, they're gone now and, but I can only imagine. And let's face it, there's a lot of guys that fantasize about Asian women, which I'm sure is great for your business, but it also can be harmful.
Speaker 2 (42m 45s): Oh absolutely. Yeah. I've definitely gotten some like strange re well what I consider a strange request kind of going more into like race play, which is something I don't offer just cause I think it's dangerous to kinda play with those lines cause it's a really, really fine line when it comes to race play. And that's just something I just don't entertain. I just feel like it's encouraging more of defending those stereotypes types and Yes. And fe, which is not so fun for those who are on this side big time of that line.
Yeah. So I, yeah, for me it's a hard pass on that
Speaker 1 (43m 26s): I can only imagine hanging there. Mm. So, So do you ever think about leaving the adult industry?
Speaker 2 (43m 33s): Not very often, which is really nice. I don't think I've ever thought about leaving. I think like the one time I maybe thought about leaving or ending at least a portion of this part of the industry was actually was stripping. And that's when the pandemic happened because everything shut down was strip clubs. Like I didn't dance for almost basically in over a year actually. Yes. I didn't dance for a year and I was like, well I guess strip clubs are gonna close down. This is gonna be the end of things and I don't know if I'll ever dance again.
It's time to hang off my heels. And that did not happen thankfully. And actually I'm dancing more and more now post pandemic, even though we're still in the pandemic, but dancing more now. So I thought that at one point, like that might have been my end. And also like I'm looking towards the future. I feel like maybe when I'm pregnant I probably won't be doing much in this industry.
Or maybe after I have kids or like young toddlers, I don't think I'd be doing anything. I just don't think I'm gonna have energy and I'm gonna, I'm wanting to, you know, doing all
Speaker 1 (44m 48s): Those things. I, they tend to that energy.
Speaker 2 (44m 51s): Yes. Like, I mean realistically, realistically speaking, I just don't think I'll be doing that at that point. So, but who knows that, that's still quite a few years away, so we'll see. I'll, I'll get back to you when it happens if that happens there.
Speaker 1 (45m 5s): There you go. Do you have any regrets about being in the industry?
Speaker 2 (45m 11s): Nothing huge about like actual regrets. Like in general, I don't find that I regret anything. There are things maybe that I wish I could have done a bit differently. Sure. Or maybe I've done better. And that's just, again, just knowing myself. But however, at that point in my life I, I was just not solidified in who I was and I just didn't know what I valued what again, what those boundaries and stuff were at those points in my life.
So that to me, I guess would be the closest thing to regret things in this industry. I wish I could have started earlier a little bit. I feel like I was a little later to the game, but at the same time I still feel like I was really naive when I entered the industry, but I kind of wish I, I kind wish I got involved with porn earlier or at least given that like a try. Cause I've, I've had, I just know so many people in the industry and it feels like that's something I would've like definitely would've loved to try to do at some point being an exhibitionist.
So like I feel like that would've been a really, really interesting experience. But yeah, I think those are like my only things that I might might've regretted. But
Speaker 1 (46m 30s): Yeah, so being an exhibitionist is probably a good prerequisite for this position. So along with that, what do you think needs to be changed to make the industry better for performers?
Speaker 2 (46m 45s): Ooh. Yeah. I feel we need to get rid of the hierarchy. So I kind of mentioned that term earlier, but basically for those listeners who don't know what the hierarchy is or for those who just was like, what is that term? It's basically like a hierarchy within the sex industry or sex workers. And there's different, there's different kinds of hierarchies, but for example, non contact, that's
Speaker 1 (47m 11s): Hierarchy. Kinda like hierarchy.
Speaker 2 (47m 14s): Yes, exactly. Words. I like that. Wish I coined. I did not coin, but
Speaker 1 (47m 23s): Patented
Speaker 2 (47m 25s): Would've, Sex work is viewed at the top. So basically some people might see this as camgirl or some people might see this as, I don't know, do at the top and then it kind of goes down the pyramid. So maybe strippers might be next. And then you might have like indoor sex work and then like outdoor sex work at the bottom. And I think a lot of people really do adopt that model.
I'm not sure if that's subconsciously or consciously, but it is really dangerous and it just puts others at risk by making certain comments like that or assumptions like that. And also it just, it's just not healthy and I feel like the whole world already hates sex workers. So why do we continue to allow this hate to be within, like internally in our community? I really feel like that is something that needs to change.
And there's still so many people that believe in that kinda stuff and it's really not. And in the end we're all hoes. So
Speaker 1 (48m 39s): I know I'm
Speaker 2 (48m 44s): Like, yeah, that definitely needs to change. Hopefully at some point I would love to see. That
Speaker 1 (48m 50s): Makes sense. So, so how can people find you?
Speaker 2 (48m 54s): Oh yeah, we're, we're at that time. Yes. So it's, my podcast is stripped by C and you can find that on any major podcast platform. It's, it's out there. You can stream online, you can stream wherever, rate and like five stars if you're interested in that. And then again, if you are interested in hearing and seeing some of the video exclusive on that, you can go pee my Patreon, which is patreon.com/stripped by cia.
And if you do wanna get in contact with me, Twitter is the best place to do that. And it's stripped by CIA on Twitter. We have stripped by CIA on Instagram as well. Basically stripped by CIA everywhere. So I'll make that nice and easy. And I am working on my website revamping that at the moment, which will be stripped by.com.
Speaker 1 (49m 45s): So. So just for everyone out there, it's stripped by s i a is how C is spelled. Okay. Well Steph, I'd like to thank you for being our guest today on Adult site broker talk, and I hope we'll get a chance to do this again soon.
Speaker 2 (50m 1s): Absolutely. Thank you again, Bruce.
Speaker 1 (50m 3s): It was a pleasure. My broker tip today is part three of what to do to make your site more valuable for when you decide to sell it later. Last week we talked about making a good offer and how to structure your site. Next, keep your website design up to date, do a redesign from time to time. People will tend to think your site is the same as ever and click out of it without even looking if something doesn't change. So keep it fresh and up to date. Times change. So should your website, look at what your competitors are doing and see what it is you really like.
Emulate success. If you know a site to be particularly successful, look at what it is they're doing and do some of the same things. I'm not saying to copy it, I'm just suggesting you improve your site by looking around a bit. You've gotta keep up with the times or you're gonna end up being left behind. Also, keep an eye on your competition and make sure you're offering everything on your site that they are or more. Don't just look at their design, but make sure your offers are good and your competitive. The same goes for your content.
Do you ever wonder why one site does well and others don't? Check out the competition's content. What are they doing that you're not doing? Be willing to make changes. People can't understand why they're losing sales to a competitor yet the competitor is clearly doing everything better. Emulate success. Make sure everything on your website works well. Make sure all of your links work properly. Check them on a regular basis. If things don't work, you'll lose customers. People are not patient these days. People's attention spans are like that of a nat.
They'll click out immediately and go onto the next result in Google if they don't find what they're looking for or if the site is hard to navigate or things just don't work. Check all your internal scripts and plugins and make sure they're updated regularly as well. We'll talk about this subject more next week and next week we'll be speaking with Krystel Penn of Grooby. And that's it for this week's Adult Site Broker Talk. I'd once again like to thank my guest Steph Sia. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I'm Bruce Friedman.