Adult Site Broker Talk Episode 57 with Matthew Bennett the English Leathermaster

0 (7s):
This is Bruce Friedman of Adult Site Broker and welcome to Adult Site Broker Talk, where every week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry, and we discuss what's going on in our business. Plus we give you a tip on buying and selling websites this week. This week we'll be talking with Matthew Bennett, the English Leathermaster.

Adult Site Broker is proud to introduce ASB Marketplace, the first platform where you can buy and sell adult sites and domains for FREE!

ASB Marketplace allows buyers and sellers the chance to come together on properties that are valued below our company’s minimum of 50,000 dollars.

Don’t pay for other marketplaces when ASB Marketplace gives you this service for free.

Visit ASB-Marketplace-dot-com and sign up as a seller or as a buyer today.

And don’t forget ASB Cash, the first affiliate program for an adult website brokerage where you can earn as much as 20% of our broker commission referring sellers and buyers to us at Adult Site Broker.

Check out ASB-Cash-dot-com for more details and to sign up.
One quick note, starting this coming Saturday and running through July 5th is the TES affiliate conference in Marbella.

0 (1m 33s):
Spain. The show is the first hybrid TES conference with both live and virtual attendees and events. I'll be doing a presentation on the ins and outs of buying and selling adult websites on Friday at 5:00 PM. Spanish time, virtual registration is free. Go to T E S affiliate conferences.com to register. And I'll see you there. Now. Let's feature our property of the week that's for sale at adult site broker, we're offering a rapidly growing hair, shaving site. The site shows women getting their head shaved. It does not show explicit content. So it's much easier to promote than most adult sites.

0 (2m 13s):
The site creates an environment for their customers, where they feel like they're getting invited to the party of their hair, fetish dreams. They love using slogans like come join the party. There is a sister site that has a unique method of hosting their videos in a discreet manner for their customers. The site is fueled by redirects. This is essentially the brains of the whole operation. It handles the billing and rebilling user information and video displays. There's also a separate forum and a download store that did $5,000 in sales. The first month alone, there's no paid advertising. They go directly to their customers with targeted SEO, YouTube videos, and other social media.

0 (2m 56s):
The community for this niche is very loyal and the members will help any way they can to see sites like this grow. They'll donate. Some will even do work for the site for free. The site has a lot of room to grow with little, a little more time and investment. There is a mailing list of well over 1100 model's hair can be sold for thousands of extra dollars. There are trained producers for these shoots who would be happy to stay on after the sale. This great site is available for only $480,000. Now time for this week's interview,

1 (3m 32s):
I guess today on the adult side, broker talk is Matthew Bennett, the English leather master Matthew. Thanks for being with us today on adult side, broker talk,

2 (3m 41s):
Thank you so much for having me here.

1 (3m 43s):
It's a pleasure. Now let's tell everyone about you. Matthew Bennett is an international coach Federation certified coach. He goes over 250 hours of experience coaching people from all walks of life. His background is in international education, assessment, business development, sales, and leadership. Now Matthew started coaching to empower those who society leaves on the sidelines. Namely mem members of the LGBTQ plus community and Kiki community and sex workers. He truly believes that people who live more integrated lives can become more successful and fulfilled. And Matthew is trained and presented in over 13 countries across Europe and Asia.

1 (4m 27s):
We were just talking about the fact that he at one time lived here in Thailand. So we went back and forth on that a little bit. Off-air he managed multi-million pound projects and led teams of people and a range of organizations. His book mastering life has been downloaded hundreds of times and his webinar series mastering life shorts continues to draw in people who want to learn more about integrating life and work. He now divides his time between online coaching training and running his incredibly successful only fans page consistently ranking as one of the top only fans creators. This success has only happened by treating online content creation as a startup business, applying good practices and brand development, planning, development, sales, and marketing.

1 (5m 14s):
So basically he practices what he preaches now, English leather master coaching is one of the only spaces where anyone, no matter what their story can go to develop every part of their lives and businesses and allows people who are LGBTQ plus kinky or sex workers to access the highest quality accredited life business, and executive coaching by giving people a fully judgment, free, confidential, safe space to explore their vision for success and the route to get there. People who have been marginalized can now become fully integrated and more successful. So Matthew, sorry. That's all we have time for today.

3 (5m 56s):
Tell us

1 (5m 57s):
More you and where you're based. I kind of get the impression based on the name of your company and your accent that it might be the UK.

2 (6m 8s):
Well, I actually started this company in Thailand. I was working that just before the pandemic and then came back to the UK for a, for a funeral and then got stuck as, as we all know that, that the world is very different. But the nice thing about what I do is I work online. So I'm stuck in the UK at the moment in the future, who knows. I've been talking to my partner over, over the last few months about what happens next, you know, one school reopens, wherever they go. And the nice thing is to say is just like you, you can, you can work with a microphone and a, and an internet connection anywhere. So it's, it's lovely.

2 (6m 49s):
It is. And I'm looking forward to, to being able to make those choices

1 (6m 52s):
Again. Okay. Well tell me more about you. Yeah, so, I mean, you've said quite a lot of it.

2 (7m 0s):
It rolled a stumble to it when only because I was working in Thailand for, for an education company and I was made redundant, they, they had re reorganization of the company and I thought I was going to be working with leaders in international schools actually. And I thought, well, I'll allow coaching into my, my portfolio of things, of consulting this. I would be able to do with them and really got the coaching bug. And then alongside that. So I've been working on, you know, I'd done a bit of online domming and things like that for, for, for, for a number of years. And I realized that actually, I, I wanted to integrate the parts of my life and I wanted to work in a much more open way about who I am and what I do.

2 (7m 51s):
And it all came together in one and allowed me to get to the point in the time. Now I started a slightly explicit Twitter account, knowing that, that, you know, sex sells and to get, to get some attention. And that then led to, to the only funds, which then led to, to what I'm doing now, where I opened up the outer belts industry, met lots of people in the adult industry and realized that there's this whole world out there that people don't really know with all these people working really hard in this same way that, you know, a donut shop or a juice bar would be doing to try and improve that the businesses it's happening in the industry.

2 (8m 36s):
And I really wanted to work with people through that. And that's where I am now. So I put out loads of content. I try to be very open about what I'm into very, very excited by what people other people are into and at the same time, making some money the way, and then helping other people do the thing.

1 (8m 58s):
Awesome. Now who exactly is English Leatherman?

2 (9m 3s):
It's I suppose it's, it's it's me plus it's I am a lifestyle Dom. I, my partner is also my boy that's obviously I wouldn't necessarily put out the part of me that sits there in front of soppy movies and, and Kels up in bowls with, with hot chocolate. So I'm not going to be making videos about that. And on the other side of the things, I wouldn't be making videos about the stuff that gets you band of porn sites. So English or the monster is my online persona. It's it's. I try to be very authentic in what I do.

2 (9m 45s):
Uncheck show people what, what they can well, good dominance in, in the gay world looks like, and in a world where lots of porn is, it feels very inauthentic. The stuff that's shoved in your face, on the front page of the eclipse sites. I try to be very open about that. You can be in a relationship that can be healthy. You can do very, very bad things to people and enjoy it. You can be, you can put parts of your body and parts of your sexuality out there that people can get very excited about, but still be you and still be real.

2 (10m 26s):
So that's, that's English at the masters is that part of me. And I, I, I very much enjoy sharing that with the world. Sure.

1 (10m 35s):
Now tell us a bit about what you do and what your journey to getting here is.

2 (10m 41s):
So, as I say, I think it started when I was working in, in Thailand and it started noticing that I naturally found a way through increasing my, my reach with my followers on Twitter and Instagram and all of those places, which then led to, to the only fans and, and more, more recently just for fans, but also realizing that it's not just about putting everything out there. It's about working out who you are and what you do and what you will do, what you won't to, what you're willing to share, what you're not willing to share it, creating a voice and a personality and a tone about who you are.

2 (11m 34s):
And I realized that what I was doing was I was building a business. I was building a brand that was the master brand. So English, the master will do certain things. He won't do certain things. And I realized that I could use my skills from coaching in, in helping other people in that. So by doing that, a lot of the people I coach are, you know, business exacts, who just happened to need some stress relief at home, and don't quite understand how they can integrate the fact that they like being spanked with the fact that they also a CEO of a company or people who every now and then they'll drop in the fact that they're in a poly relationship.

2 (12m 20s):
And that's problematic for making decisions about what to do next in their lives. So by being really open what's, I've allowed myself to do is to follow those, those people to where they are and say, you know what, I've done, almost everything you've you've ever done. So you can tell me everything and then we can get on with the rest of our lives and planning your, your best, best future.

1 (12m 43s):
And it almost sounds like a lot of psychology goes in,

2 (12m 47s):
But yeah, I mean, there's a huge amount of psychology. I'm also a hypnotherapist. So, and sort of hypnotic methods within some of my coaching as well. And all of that goes into it where the brain is, you know, if someone is in, if someone is fearful of the future, if something is really worrying them, then they can't be future-focused. So a good example moments is what the sorts of things that are happening to some of the sites with the payment processes mean that lots of creators and people working on those sites have the think very, very carefully about what they put out, but because they're so fearful of losing their income streams, then that makes it more difficult to be able to step back and go, okay, how can we plan given this, this massive challenge coming ahead.

2 (13m 43s):
So, so yeah, there's some massive psychology in that.

1 (13m 46s):
Now let's talk about the term coaching and I've heard it bandied about a lot. Obviously your form of coaching is a little bit different than most, but what exactly is coaching? I mean, what is it in, I know what it is in sports. Okay. Obviously, but tell us more about the coaching you do.

2 (14m 7s):
Yeah. Well, so first of all, my, my, the coaching I do is, is no different to, to many, many coaches. I mean, one of the problems with coaching is it's non-regulated so you'll get someone who's done a, you know, three hour Udemy course calling themselves a coach. Yeah. But the, the form of coaching that's hard to do if you, it started actually with, with tennis back in the seventies, I think it was in seventies when someone realized that, instead of saying the way to hold the tennis racket is this, and then you move your hand like this, and then you have to follow their movements exactly.

2 (14m 50s):
In states you to the person, okay, hold the tennis racket the way you feel, then I'm going to throw ball and then hit the ball. Now, try it a different way. Now, what works for you? And you sort of, you build on the feeling within the person. So instead of directing a person saying, this is the way, right. You say, okay, listen to your own body. So the type of coaching that's I would do is I would say, I wouldn't say to someone, you know, if, if I had a sex worker come to me and say, I want to start my own just a fan site, I wouldn't say right. Well, you have to look like this and you have to wear these clothes and all the rest of it, I would say, okay, who do you want to be? Who do you want to attract? What, what really gets you off and get them tease those answers out of them.

2 (15m 36s):
And likewise, you know, someone came to me and said, I've got this massive, massive sites, and I want to increase my, my reach. And then we would, I wouldn't say, this is my thoughts. It's very much about saying, okay, you have mentioned 15 times this thing in the last half hour, and this happens a lot. What does that word mean to you? Keep saying that word and just reflecting back because people don't really know what's in their heads and there's just so many things going on in their head. Sometimes you just need to have someone sit back and listen to you, talk, and then go, there's the threat here. And, and we keep coming back.

2 (16m 17s):
And one of the nice things about what I do is I'll have clients who will, who will just talk about their, their business lives, their home lives, that their family lives. And then I'll get you realize it's the thread about, you know, feeling disconnected from people. What are you going to do about that? So why, why is connection so important? And then by reflecting back, people get into a much more focused area. Likewise, you know, I've worked with, I worked with one, one sex worker who was, yeah. She was a girl living in Atlanta.

2 (16m 57s):
She had a choice between working in the juice bar or becoming a pro Dom. And I was like, okay, where do you want to go? What do you want to do with this? What is it about your life that allows you to do this? And instead of having a binary choice, suddenly she had many, many choices ahead of her. She was going beyond that binary choice into what, what do you want to be? Who do you want to be? And, and how is that going to help you move forward in your life?

1 (17m 29s):
So it's, it's a really all about asking the right questions and then listening.

2 (17m 35s):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I'm doing a lots of shutting up, which is something I take very, very naturally. I have to say

1 (17m 41s):
Me, me either. You know, I was talking, I was talking to my attorney, Chad yesterday and I said the very same thing to him. You know, we, we had something that I was concerned about contractually and how it affected my business. And I ended up answering the whole question just by, just by talking to him and him listening. And he said, well, you came up with the answer, didn't you? It sounds

2 (18m 11s):
Like he's a coach. That's exactly what coaching is about. He doesn't,

1 (18m 14s):
He doesn't know. Yeah. He doesn't know what he doesn't know. He's a coach, but he absolutely is. But I think a good term, a good attorney will have those I'm sure.

2 (18m 25s):
Not every now and then a good attorney and a good coach will go, you know, you're, you're, you're about to walk into a minefield. Don't do that. But you know that once you, you said that you say, okay, which way do you want to go and schedule? He

1 (18m 37s):
Didn't even say that. I said it that's, that's the great part. Yeah. He he's educated me. Well, now you talk about, you talk about coaching, smart, sexy people. Now, first of all, what does that mean? And I mean, am I smart and sexy?

2 (18m 51s):
You are very smart and you're very sexy. You don't really, you don't really know me. I've listened to enough of your podcast. You're the ones by sexy. Let's start with that by, by sexy. I mean, people who their gender or their sexuality is part of the story. So whether they are a trans, one of my clients was a transsexual female to male man who was working in, in a sales job in London. And he wanted to move countries.

2 (19m 33s):
But because of his status, his gender status, there were more barriers to that movement than, than for you, for your average person. So it was, you know, I didn't need to talk about his, his transition. That was nothing to do as me or anything. It was just a piece of information that was always there in the background. Likewise, for, for someone who's working in another, in the adult industry, your you're talking about the business and you could be a cake shop, or you could be an online bookseller, or you could be selling online adult content. And there's just a few extra bits and pieces in that that you have to be aware of in order to, to move forward and by being so that's the sexy thing.

2 (20m 19s):
It's, it's just that gender or sexuality is important in this story and transfer smart. I like working with people who have got a brain, obviously, but also th th th they've they're doing it with some sense of knowledge of who and what they are. Some sort of sense of self-awareness. And I think you have to be quite smart, do that. You're not just falling into, into what you're doing, because I mean, people, people end up where they are because they, they ended up where they are. It's at that point, they can step up and say, okay, now I need to move forward.

2 (21m 1s):
So that's, that's what smart, sexy people are.

1 (21m 4s):
Yeah. You, you mentioned transsexuals. We don't know anything about them here in, in Thailand. Now you wrote a book mastering life. Now tell me what it's all about.

2 (21m 15s):
Yeah. So I read that actually a year ago. I need to get back and check it over. It's in somebody's website, you can download it for free. Let the most of.com it's it's. What I noticed was that all self-help books are incredibly, you know, they'll very happily say my wife, my husband, I go to church every Sunday and they're very SIS hetro, monogamous, and, and sex doesn't exist every night, especially if you're a Republican, you have exactly that will be written by, by members of

3 (21m 58s):
The charity

2 (22m 1s):
Or by, you know, SAS soldiers or by cricketers or something. Very, very, very mainstream. So what I tried to do was I tried to bring together all the sort of advice I'd read in lots of different areas in business, and then in life coaching and put it all together, but with a bit of a bent on, in, in particular LGBT plus or kinky people and saying, okay, when you're using the CPT, try and build. So that's cognitive behavioral therapy, not coping bulldozer when you're using the CBT triangle, then what does that mean? If you're talking about a Dom sub relationship, for example, or if you're thinking about drama or in the relationship, how does a vary if you happen to be in a poly relationship?

2 (22m 50s):
So it's just trying to be a bit more open and so people can read it and go, oh yeah, that's me. Rather than I don't resonate with this, this person who goes to church in our console every Sunday, God

1 (23m 8s):
W what would people in the adult industry get from? COVID

2 (23m 12s):
The ability to, well, I mean, it's ultimately, it's the same as anyone would get in any industry. It gives them a space to look at what they want from, from their business and to move forwards. It gives, it gives them a next step perspective that allows them to find their best way to do anything that they want. So to fund water, to first of all, to define what success means for you, and then to move forwards and find the ways of achieving that success. And then in the adult industry, where there's a lot of stuff that's in your, literally in your face, but it's very difficult to see how you can find your niche, whatever you're doing, whether you're you're running a website, or whether you're, you know, a single content creator with an iPhone, it's trying to find your niche and find your audience and find the best way of marketing your niece, your audience, making sure that everything that is there in your, in your business is leading you to where you want to go.

2 (24m 23s):
And it may be that, you know, you're, you're a creator who wants to get out of the business within three years, having made enough money to buy a house, or it may be that you're trying to buy up one of the major porn sites. It doesn't really matter. All of those things are valid, but sometimes it's difficult to get someone to sit by you. I mean, you, you were talking about your attorney, you, you must be able to talk to your attorney about what you do, and you have to be really careful sometimes in finding the people who won't sit back and judge you for that. So it's, it's a minefield. And so finding a coach who is happy for you to, so yeah, I get my, my, my wobbly bits out on, on camera and make loads of money is, is important.

1 (25m 14s):
Yeah. It's gotta be nonjudgmental, especially in the adult industry though. Yeah. Now, what have you learned from being in the adult industry?

2 (25m 24s):
One of the things I've learned the most is how hard people work. It's, you know, everyone thinks that you can set up a camera and just spread your legs and, and show everything and, and, and you'll have people running into you. And it's just not the case. It's also the, you can very easily be pulls down routes that you look back and think, I really wish I hadn't done that because you have done that upfront thinking about what, what do I want to do? What don't I want to do is very important. And whether that's, you know, showing a particular part of your body or showing your face or using your name, or including acts that you're not into you, you, you're not happy about, or by, by showing a persona that gives the wrong impression.

2 (26m 21s):
That means that if an 18 year old came to you and said, oh, I did this because I saw you doing it on camera. And you think, actually, that's not what I wanted. So it's, it's about planning, but people have to really work hard to get that. And so you can get really wound up into an marketplace that you have to get more out, bigger, stronger, faster, whatever it is. And actually sometimes being bad. I mean, listen, I'm in my forties. I'm not particularly timed at all. My I'm quite average in most ways I'm doing well, but that's because I found my niche, but it took me some time and huge amounts of work.

2 (27m 7s):
And I've got huge amounts of respect for people who worked very hard for where they get whatever they're doing. And I think it starts that real hard work that no one sees.

1 (27m 20s):
Yeah. Well, what people don't realize who aren't in our industry is that sex work, and it's going to sound like a cliche, but sex work is work.

2 (27m 30s):
Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and if you're

1 (27m 34s):
Not in this industry, you don't get it.

2 (27m 37s):
No, no. You th you think that those videos you see of, of, you know, a couple checking on, on the, on their bed, I've done without any thoughts. And what you have to remember is the amount of preparation and, and, and, and setting everything up and then the editing and then the uploading, and then the getting it out there that that's there. And it, the amount of work to get to that place is important. Absolutely. And, and it takes lots of time and effort. And then also within that, the fact, I mean, I do a lot of my scenes with my boy, and we have to be really careful to have a distinction between this is when the camera's on, and this is when the camera's off and then make sure that we don't just say, you know, we got off rocks off together with the cameras on.

2 (28m 22s):
We, we don't need to touch each other. Again, you, you have to remain in that relationship. In, in, in, in my case, working with people outside relationship, then there's all of those issues around legalities and paperwork and tests and all the things that you have to think about.

1 (28m 43s):
Sorry, I would imagine a lot of couples who do what you do. I would imagine it can be very damaging to a relationship.

2 (28m 51s):
Yeah. Yeah. You have to be really careful, I think, to, to make sure that you, you keep the relationship. And, you know, when, when my boys said to me a few, a few months ago, you know, we only seem to do this on camera. I had to sit back and go, okay, we need to change something here to make sure that, that our relationship is more important than, than my business coaching the coach.

1 (29m 20s):
What do you enjoy the most about working with people in this industry?

2 (29m 25s):
Yeah. Well, I love, people's really weird fetishes. I love personally. So this is, this is as a content creator. I love making custom videos because I love people who go, you know what? I want you to be my stepdad, who's into balloons while stepping on, on jelly babies, or let's do this. So it's, it's the creativity I get from that. What I love from the people I've worked with is just that passion about what they do and the death, especially that the people who have been at it for a while, their understanding of themselves, because I don't think you last very long, if you don't get who you are and you don't sort of take that.

2 (30m 21s):
And, but obviously a teacher I used to go into, to school in, in the UK, the teachers are very formal in that the kids are in uniform and I used to be Mr. Bennett in school. And to some extent, that's what I do now. I make that the master, but I'm on camera and I'm, I'm, I'm Matthew and I'm not. And I noticed that a lot in that the people really work to have their persona and their who they are in two different places. And that takes some time and some efforts, especially when it is literally all encompassing you're, you're using your body.

2 (31m 3s):
So I've, I've loved working with people who are very aware of that.

1 (31m 8s):
I just love the people in this industry, just the people and their passion and their love. I mean, this is like, this is the, I've said it many times on this, on this podcast. This is my,

2 (31m 20s):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard that many times as well. And you know, I'm fairly new in the industry. Haven't shopped in. Finally, I've, I've, I've had my toe in the water for a long time, but people are very, I've, I've been amazed at how open people are. The barriers for entry are low. People are very open to, to people, people who come in and say, you know, well, I want to be part of this. And I I've loved

1 (31m 51s):
That. Everybody loves new members of our club. There's no two ways about it. And I, it doesn't sound like you've been in it long enough with the pandemic to really do the shows, but, you know, you'll have, you'll have to go to events once they actually start up in person again. Cause that's the best part. That's the best part of this. Yeah.

2 (32m 12s):
I've, I've, I've been involved in a couple of the online versions of the, of the in-person shows and I've really enjoyed those. Yeah. That's

1 (32m 20s):
Not even close though. You know, you're not, you don't have the hugs. I don't know if we'll have the hugs now, but you don't, you don't have the hugs. You don't have the, the comradery, you know, it's, it's when this thing's over, man, it's going to be crazy. Cause we everybody's going to be so glad to see each other, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be, oh, it's going to be so nice. I'm I'm shooting for a T E S in September, but we'll see what happens, you know, I'm, I'm pretty sure that's going to happen. So that, that's a good thing in Prague. Now you've managed to grow your social media following and fan sites really fast. Now, what advice would you give to someone trying to do the same?

2 (33m 4s):
So again, it, first of all, you have to decide what your definition of success is. So what do you want and why do you want to, do you need 10,000 followers to do the thing you want to do? The people that are obsessed with with very specific numbers, it could be that actually what you need is, is one follow-up who is a billionaire. Who's very happy to have you and said that their only client they're only content producer. Right? So after that, I think it's about authenticity. It's about really being the person that you want to be.

2 (33m 45s):
Obviously you don't have to put everything out there. And for most people that would be a very, very bad idea, but it's, it's by being the people who don't last very long and the people who are just, they're just a faulty part and they are interchangeable with anyone else, anyone else's body part. And so by, by being more of a whole person I think is, is important. And then it's about following again, you know, in exactly the same way. But if you were running a clothing shop, you, you put in the loads of clothes that you think might sell that you like.

2 (34m 27s):
And then you notice that certain, certain brands, certain ranges sell really well. So you start following that and you become that thing. So I I've got certain, certain fetishes that whenever I put a video up huge amounts of people join my only fans. But funny enough, they're not necessarily ones that are necessarily into. So I have to then make a decision about whether I want to be the person who tells that thing or whether I just want to keep that in the mix, keep those people happy, but the stuff that I want to do up as well, and it's so it's, it's very much about market following the market, listens to yours.

2 (35m 7s):
You're watching the, the, the, the lights in a much more analytic way than just saying, oh, look, that's got, that's got 500 lights. Then, then I feel good about myself. It's like, well, why did that get 500 likes or 5,000 likes or whatever it is. Yeah.

1 (35m 26s):
Sounds like, kind of like the goal with your coaching. It's all about what makes you happy. Right? Well,

2 (35m 32s):
Otherwise, why are you doing anything exactly that ultimately there are far easier ways to make money than, than in this industry. Because if you, if you can go and work in a dead end job working nine to five, and you can, you can close your computer at five o'clock and leave and never think about it again. Don't worry about the fact that, you know, if someone found that you were working for dead-ends accountants next year, that, that the, the, they, they wouldn't give you a job. This, this industry is not the place to be. And if, if you want to, if you're worried about that, or if it's, if you are worried about that and there's ways of, of dealing with it.

2 (36m 14s):
So it's got to make you happy. And if it doesn't, then, then, then get out of the kitchen.

1 (36m 19s):
You know, you talked a little bit about coaching and goals. What's the best way to set a goal for your, your life as a content producer.

2 (36m 32s):
I th the, the, the best way of setting a goal for anything in fact, is by thinking about you in X number of years, for some people that will be like, you know, it's, it's, it's a common first, first coaching session question. When, when you retire, first of all, how will you be if we're allowed to retire and what will you look back over your, your, your career and say I've done, or it could be in, in where are you trying to go with this? What's you trying to get what you want to feel by the age of 35 or 55 or 95, what you want to have. And therefore, so instead of getting stuck in the mire of, I don't want to get in an intro and a, a logo and a, had a boob job.

2 (37m 22s):
You, you think about Archie, what I want is I want to be living in this sort of a house or having this sort of lifestyle. And then what you can think is if I'm doing you find getting my boob joke, will that get me to that lifestyle or that she is going to hinder me because by getting the big boobs, therefore I'll be seen as this person. And therefore I won't get that. So it's, it's questioning the assumptions of the today by looking at tomorrow,

1 (37m 50s):
Just to let you know, the Thai women loved my boobs. So I think I'm going to, I think I'm going to be okay. Yeah. I always get the, I always get that comment. So, so can you, can you give examples of how you've worked with people in the adult industry?

2 (38m 6s):
Yeah, so, I mean, I mentioned before the, the, the, the, the sex worker in, in, in Georgia, in the USA, and she, she literally had a choice between working at some juice bar or becoming a dominatrix, but she was living at home and she was, she was very much doing it because she was trying to work out a way of paying her way through college. So we were trying to work together, finding her niche on finding her, her own mind, her online persona, which also was an in-person persona in her case, trying to work out how she could, how she could maximize the benefits at the time.

2 (38m 52s):
So she couldn't make contents at home, for example. Sure. She was then able, as she had to pay to go to an Airbnb or a hotel room, and then in, she was, she was very much line, how can you, for that a hundred dollars that you've spent on, on going there and getting that room? How can you maximize content? You'll get out of that. So it was very, very tight with her. There was another one who I worked with who was, again, an in-person sex worker in this case. And she, she had chosen at the age of 30 or so to move from a marketing job to being a, an in person sex work.

2 (39m 36s):
Yeah. And so she, she, by having that choice, he was, she was in a very different space. And we were talking about what a website would look like and what her marketing would look like and what she was going to accept she would do. And once you wouldn't, and she was living in the country where they have agencies for these people, and she had to, she, she had done a couple of these gigs where she was literally puts in a hotel room and then men turned up every hour on the hour thing. And she, yeah, she was not impressed by that. How can I, how could she get out of that system and, and develop her own, you know, customer list.

2 (40m 19s):
So she didn't have to deal, deal with that sort of stuff, but that was about marketing and, and about also accepting when to say no, in her case and with, with some people it's been about the plan for, yeah. I'm, I'm enjoying this now, but so I know that my body will give up in, in two or five or 10 years, therefore, what's the, what's the next step.

1 (40m 46s):
Do you find as a content creator yourself, the content creators are drawn to you as a coach?

2 (40m 53s):
Yeah. I think one of the nice things, one, one of the issues with coaching is that it's very difficult to show success as a coach, because obviously everything in the same way that a therapist, you don't, you don't put too many, you don't have recordings of your therapy sessions on the line with many sorts of coaching. It's difficult to see all of my clients, but you can see what I've done and you can see where I've, I've created stuff, and you can see the success I've made for myself and therefore other people come to me and say, yeah, look, I've, I've seen what you do. And therefore, I sometimes like, you know, can you teach me how to do what you do?

2 (41m 35s):
And I said, no, I can't.

1 (41m 38s):
Yeah. And you're not me. Yeah. Yeah,

2 (41m 40s):
Exactly. And you don't have the same drivers as I do. You don't have the same enjoyment of certain things that I do, whether that's an issue of a physical thing. One of the things I love doing is I love that living at a camera, other people would absolutely hates doing that, need to write scripts. I can't stand scripts. So, you know, th th the way people work will always be different, but they can see that I have done what I've done. And, and I've, I've been successful in what I'm doing. Yes, you're right. That draws people.

1 (42m 15s):
Now, Matthew, how can people learn more about you?

2 (42m 18s):
So go to my website, English, leather, mass.com. And then, then if you, if you sort of poke around on my website, then you'll, you'll see some of my, my webinars, my book, and more information, and you can get in touch with me there. Or you can follow me on Twitter at Elm coaching for the, for the safe work stuff and English at English level M for the non-safe work.

1 (42m 47s):
Fantastic. Well, I'm looking forward to reading that book. I was going to, I was going to buy it, see you lost a sale.

3 (42m 53s):
Okay. Matthew, go ahead.

2 (42m 56s):
Being stuffed. I'd love to love giving stuff to the community because I love it. So it's out there for everyone.

1 (43m 3s):
I agree with you. I'd do the same Matthew. I'd like to thank you for being our guest today on adult site, broker talk. And I hope we'll get a chance to do this again really soon. I'm

2 (43m 12s):
Really looking forward to it. And I'm, I'm after a hug. When I meet you in person Monday

1 (43m 17s):
Soon, indeed. Today

0 (43m 19s):
Is part seven of how to buy an adult website. Last week, we talked about the agreement and escrow. So now you own the website. What do you do? Now? The first thing you should do is make sure you understand everything about the operation of the site. The previous owner will hopefully be available for a period of time to help you with this. As I mentioned last week, you should establish what the former owners participation will be after the sale, you'll need to deal with production of new content processing, paying affiliates, and many other things. If you don't have experience in these things, you may want to consider our general consulting firm, adult business consulting. You can get more information on what this company does and adult business consulting.com.

0 (44m 4s):
We help website owners, project managing guide them to the right vendors. Maybe the previous owner had all the right elements, processing, hosting, payments, production, scripts, et cetera, or maybe they didn't. We can help evaluate that for you and save you some money. Let us know if we can help. Anyway, you'll now be operating the website. If you don't have someone like our general consulting company to help evaluate all of these things and everything, the site is spending money on and using to operate the website, make sure you're getting a good deal. And that these companies are providing the right service and check to see if you can do better. Hosting is a great example on something where people are often both overpaying and not getting the right service.

0 (44m 49s):
Many times the server is just too slow. If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to reach out to us on our website next week. We'll talk about how to sell a website. And that's it on this week's Adult Site Broker Talk. I'd once again like to thank our guest Matthew Bennett, the English Leathermaster. Talk to you next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I'm Bruce Friedman.