Adult Site Broker Talk – Episode 198 with Casey Donatello of In Bed with Strangers

This is Bruce Friedman, owner of Adult Site Broker and welcome to Adult Site Broker talk where each week we interview one of the movers and shakers of the adult industry and we give you a tip on buying and selling websites. This week we’ll be speaking with Casey Donatello of In Bed with Strangers. Would you like an easy way to make a lot of money? Send sellers or buyers to us at Adult Site Broker through our affiliate program ASB Cash. When you refer business to us, you’ll receive 20% of our broker commission on all sales that result from that referral for life. You can make $100,000 or more on only one sale for some of our listings. Check out ASB Cash.com for more details and to sign up. At Adult Site Broker, we’re proud to announce our latest project, thewaronporn.com. You’ll find articles from industry websites as well as mainstream publications from around the world. It’s designed to raise awareness of our industry’s plight in the war on porn and the numerous attacks on our industry and online free speech by hate groups, the religious right and politicians. You’ll find all that and more at thewaronporn.com. We’ve also added an events section to our website at adultsidebroker.com. Now you can get information on B2B events on our site as well as special discounts reserved for our clients. Go to adultsidebroker.com for more details. Now let’s feature our property of the week that’s for sale at Adult Site Broker. We’re proud to offer a unique company with significant revenue and the potential for increased success. This business could be the right fit for someone looking to invest in a low maintenance, high reward company. It’s a daily pay service designed to cater to performers who are already working on various platforms. In exchange for a percentage, they provide more convenient solutions including daily, weekly, monthly or on request payouts. Advantages include a minimal time investment, rapid growth, scalability, a WhatsApp group for creators and support for the new owner up to six months. Only $74,900. Now time for this week’s interview. My guest today on Adult Site Broker talk is Casey Donatello from In Bed With Strangers. Casey thanks for being with us today on Adult Site Broker talk. Hi, thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure. Casey is the owner of In Bed With Strangers which is a sex positive lifestyle brand. She’s the author of three memoirs, host of the In Bed With Strangers podcast, seminar speaker and an only fans creator. Her goal is to advocate for everyone’s right to live a shame free life regardless of their sexuality, gender, kinks, non-traditional relationships or whatever society considers different. And amen to that. She’s currently in a hot wife marriage and tries to educate others about the emotional and mental aspects of embracing their sexuality, not just the physical. So how was your commercial? Okay. Oh my God, that was an amazing opening. You have a great voice. I’ve been told. My mother really liked it. So Casey, how did you come up with the name of your company? Everybody asked me that all the time. Well, that’s why I’m asking then. Yeah, it’s a very catchy name, but it actually started, it was the name of the first book that I wrote. So then everything kind of took off from that point. So the podcast has the same name, the company, the first book. So I like to keep it kind of consistent. Okay. Tell me about that first book. So I wrote my first book. I think it was around maybe 2017. I was a unicorn in the lifestyle, so a single female in the lifestyle. And people kept telling me, "Oh, you must have all these great stories. Your life must be crazy with all these dates and wild things you’re doing. You should write a book." And I never really took it too seriously. I never intended on writing a book. I wasn’t working as a writer or anything. I was just a regular person. And then one day out of the blue, I just kind of started writing stuff down and it kind of snowballed from there. And originally, I thought it was going to be this really juicy, erotic book just with all these like kinky sexual things that I was doing. And although that’s in the book, it turned out to be this kind of story of discovering myself and finding myself through exploring my sexual side. So it has some serious stuff. It’s emotional. It’s very honest about the ups and downs and the struggles that I had dealing with like shame and insecurity and all of these emotions I was struggling with and trying to have a relationship and hiding it from my family mixed in with all of the fun sex that I was having. So it ended up being different from what I expected, but I’m pretty happy with the way that it turned out. Was the family thing a problem? My family still doesn’t know, but I always found it was very hard when I was single to explain why I didn’t have a boyfriend. And people would always say, "Oh, you must be so lonely. You need to get laid." You know, they kind of feel bad for you because you’re always showing up single. Meanwhile, I’m going to sex clubs and gangbangs and they have no idea what I’m up to, but perception makes it very uncomfortable and very difficult for you sometimes. Like I felt okay with myself, but then other people made me feel bad for having this secret on the side. So it was always this kind of fine tightrope that I was walking for how I felt about myself. You know, society as a rule doesn’t embrace other lifestyles. That’s for darn sure. Absolutely. What are some common misconceptions about being in the lifestyle? Often I would say that it is just all purely fun and games and sex, but it is actually very complicated and it’s like being in the real world. Not everybody is a match. Not everybody is getting laid all the time. There’s all these other layers involved with finding the right people to match with. So I think that’s one, that it’s easy. And two, I would say that people still have this really negative view about it. Like there’s something wrong with what we’re doing. And as long as everybody is consenting adults, it really shouldn’t matter. But if people in your life find out, a lot of the times they look at you differently all of a sudden, even though you’re the same exact person. But something about being sexually free really bothers a lot of people for some reason. They’re probably jealous. Jealous or they were raised to believe that it was something wrong about that. But there is all of this negativity and this judgment around what people in the lifestyle are doing. And I think it’s really unfair because, like I said, you’re still the same exact person. But now because they know your secret, they might look at you differently. Not everybody, but a lot of people do. Yeah, it’s amazing. It’s 2024. I work for the most part in the adult internet space and we have the same misconceptions that you have in the lifestyle. And of course, you’re crossing over to both but being on only fans. And it’s just we’re just such low hanging fruit and they go after us right and left. It really is unfortunate. And the fact that it could ruin your life, essentially, if people find out that you have an only fans or that you’re in a video online having sex, you see it all the time on the news that people lose their jobs and their credibility and their reputation destroyed. It’s so not fair. At this point in time, we are, I guess, at the best place we’ve been. If you look back in time, obviously, it gets better, but it’s still not anywhere near where it should be to make it fair for anybody. And when you’re in the adult industry, then if this is how you’re making your money, it’s very difficult because everybody is flagging you. Everybody is saying you can’t promote your business here. So it really is not an easy part of the work industry to be in. Regardless if you’re only fans, you’re a porn star, you’re a stripper and whatever it is, there is this attitude that we don’t want this promoted here. People get their accounts closed and it makes it really difficult for people. Absolutely. Yeah. Social media. That’s a whole other story as the people who listen to this podcast know I’ve been shuttered by Facebook and LinkedIn numerous times on both and I finally gave up on both. But that’s another story. How would you describe your relationship as a stag and vixen couple? And what does that exactly mean? So a hot wife couple is a couple where the husband approves of his wife having sexual relations with other people while they are married. Generally speaking, it’s with other guys, but it could be with other women or anything you want to. But traditionally it is a wife that is having sex with other guys with her husband’s permission. And then from there, a stag and vixen is a subset of that where my husband is always with me on the dates. I don’t play separate from him. So he enjoys watching and participating and also with a stag versus like a cuck relationship. A stag is never humiliated or degraded for sharing his wife. It’s just something he enjoys doing and guys give him respect for the opportunity to sleep with his wife. So it’s a very specific way of hot wifeing. And that’s actually another, when you said what are some misconceptions about the lifestyle, I think a lot of people have this idea that if you are sharing your partner or you’re a couple in the lifestyle that there’s something wrong with your relationship. You’re trying to fix something. You must not love each other. You don’t respect each other because why else would you be okay with your partner sleeping with someone? Right? Because society still views marriage as you’re off the market. You’re married, you’re monogamous, end of story. And we kind of break those rules so people look at you like there’s something wrong. And then especially because in a hot wife couple, I’m sleeping with people, but he’s not, they look at us even harder. Like wow, what is wrong with you two? That’s unfair. That’s not even. They don’t understand that it’s something that we both enjoy. So there’s always a lot of explaining and even people in the lifestyle that are traditional couples that only swap with other couples. So they only play in foursums. A lot of them don’t even understand hot wifeing. Even though we’re all in the same community. So it takes a lot of education sometimes. People give us these crazy looks and we have to spend a lot of time helping them understand. But we are not the only ones out there. There’s a huge community of hot wifeing now. It’s getting a lot more popular, but it’s still misunderstood. Yeah. Wow. That’s interesting. I’m learning more and more about this. I learned a lot about the cuckold space doing a listing for a cuckold site and now I’m learning a lot more about the whole hot wife thing. I kind of had a working knowledge, but this is, it’s all very interesting to me and I’m sure it is for our audience. Why did you decide to go public as swingers when so many people are secretive about it? It was not an easy decision when I created my only fans about maybe 14 or 15 months ago. My husband and I obviously had the discussion, okay, we’re going to make an only fans. What’s going to happen if people find out? That’s step one. In the first month or so, I wore a little eye mask and I thought, that will hide my identity, but looking back, you’re like, that doesn’t hide shit, but it makes you feel comfortable. It makes you feel like there’s still this barrier and it’s a little safer. Then after a very, very brief time, I said to my husband, listen, I don’t want to wear the mask. I think it’s like stupid. I just want to have my face out there. Are you okay with it? We talked about it and he said, listen, I have no problem with it. I totally support you. He was like, there’s nothing to be ashamed about if this is what you really want to do. I said, okay, if you support me, I’ll put my face out there. Little by little, we ended up putting his face in there. As we were trying to promote my books and my only fans online, one day my husband said to me, you post a lot of neck down photos of just your body, but you’re a real person. Why don’t you just put your face out there? I was like, holy shit, putting my face on social media is like, you can’t undo that. It was very scary for me at first, but he was like, listen, if you’re telling people there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, then put your face out there. Like don’t send mixed signals, essentially. And I said, okay. And now I’ve been out publicly for a while. And then once I got my own website, my face was all over that. And then slowly now his face is starting to come into my social media. But on my only fans, it’s only the faces of me and my husband. Everybody else is faceless in my videos. All the guys that we play with, because they’re just regular guys. They’re not content creators. They’re just guys that we play with. So I like to protect their privacy. But without our faces, I felt like something’s missing. There’s like a disconnect between you and your fans. You want to have that relationship with people. And I’m a huge exhibitionist. So I actually enjoy having people see my face. It makes me happier. So all in all, it’s been really good. And I think the fact that we are a married couple, or even before we were married, just being in a healthy relationship that’s committed, I was much more comfortable telling the world I do this compared to when I was single and doing this. Because when you have somebody doing the same thing as you and you have a teammate and you have a support system, you’re like, fuck it. If I get in trouble, you’re getting in trouble. And then we’re in trouble together. So it’s like solidarity. Exactly. So when I was single, I was terrified of people knowing what I was up to. And now we don’t tell every single person we meet, obviously. There are still some hidden secrets between parents and certain family members. But we are definitely starting to tell certain people in our vanilla life that we think can handle it. And we tell them as much as we think they can handle. It can take, yeah. Yeah, everybody is going to have a different threshold of what they’re open-minded towards. But we’re at the point where we really have nothing to hide, but you have to worry about other people’s feelings. Even with what I do, you’ll only give them enough information and as much as you think they can handle, absolutely. By the way, one thing you said about people wondering what’s wrong with you guys, you guys probably wonder sometimes what’s wrong with everyone else. Well, it’s ironic because, like I said, people just assume there’s something wrong with our marriage. And it’s one of those things where if you’re in the lifestyle in a healthy way, it brings you so much closer to your partner and the bond you have is insanely extreme compared to people that are just in regular relationships sometimes. We share so much together. And whether it’s a good date or a bad date, there is something happening between us that we are sharing this experience together. And the level of trust and communication that you need to have in the lifestyle is monumentally higher than in a normal relationship because you’re adding other people into your bedroom. So it really does cultivate like magical connection between you and your partner. But it’s really hard for people to believe that and understand that. And we’re at the point now where I could be fucking another guy in front of my husband and we say, "I love you to each other while the other guy is inside me." And people look at you like, "That’s insane. That’s outrageous." But to us, we’ve gotten to the point where that’s normal for us. It’s okay. It’s like this beautiful moment. And it’s all relative to your perspective on things, right? Yeah. Normal is what’s normal to you. Exactly. Yeah. That’s the important thing. What is something you wish you knew about sex when you were younger? Oh my God. I wish I knew how fun it could be because I started late in life. I was very apprehensive about it. I was really worried about people knowing that I was promiscuous when I was younger and having rumors spread about me and being that girl, you know, like quote, unquote, "that girl" that nobody wanted to date because she was a slut. And all of those things like that, also in the beginning, my first experiences with sex weren’t that enjoyable for me. I didn’t find out until like a little bit later that sex was actually pleasurable for me. So I wish I was just a little more free spirited maybe back in the day. And I wasn’t so uptight about sex. That makes perfect sense. What advice would you give someone wanting to start an OnlyFans page? Be prepared for the insane amount of work that it takes to run it. If you are actually like serious about it, I think a lot of people have this idea where I’m just going to throw a few videos or pictures and walk away and collect this big paycheck. It’s a lot of work. It’s 24/7. You have to be present. You have to be there to talk to people. But aside from communicating with people, it takes time to make the videos, edit the videos, upload the videos. Like there’s so much back end work that I feel like I work in an office sometimes, you know. And I was kind of prepared for it, but it’s even more so than I thought. And because I do it with my husband, we were not prepared for the toll it was going to take on our personal lives, like our relationship together. In the beginning, it was kind of rocky because it went from having this private life to constantly filming stuff and trying to get good angles. And you know, you always have to get the camera. So it kind of killed our romance sometimes. Some spontaneity, yeah. Yeah. So in the beginning, it was a little rocky and then we came to an agreement where we don’t film everything. We film certain things and you really need that balance or, you know, there’s no point in me making money on OnlyFans if it means me and my husband’s sex life is going to fall to shit. Like that’s not what I’m looking for. I wanted this to be like an exciting experience for us. So in the beginning, it took us a little while and now we’re at a really good point where it is fun and we enjoy doing it together. Is it going well? Yeah. I absolutely love it. I have really nice fans. I haven’t encountered any assholes on there, which I’m really happy about. Congratulations. I know. I feel like super blessed. But my page is based on our hot wife life. So like I said, we film dates that we go on with regular guys. We film stuff together, solo stuff. We do a lot of when we’re nude camping, we’ll film stuff, but it really is a snapshot into our life. It’s all like raw home videos. So I like it like that. It’s like a reality show. Exactly. And I figure you could read my books. You could listen to our podcast or you could watch our videos. So you get the full picture of what it’s like to be in this type of dynamic. And we do a lot of like reclaiming videos after play dates. We do intimate stuff. So we try to really showcase a wide variety of what it’s like to be in the lifestyle. Okay. That’s cool. Do you see a lot of cross pollination between the different things between the only fans and the books and the podcasting? Yes. I always have people that sign up to my only fans. They go, Oh, I heard your podcast episode. Or you know, there’s definitely that mix between all three mediums, which is pretty cool because it’s kind of something for everyone. Whether you like reading, listening or watching or all three, you can kind of get whatever it is you’re looking for from us. Oh, do you prefer writing, podcasting or video content creation and why? I have to say I absolutely love the only fans thing. That’s my definite favorite. I mean, first of all, I’m having sex, so it’s physically pleasurable, right? Yes. But I like the reaction from people when they’re like that video was so hot again, because I’m an exhibitionist. Like that really turns me off. And I love knowing guys are like jerking off to my videos and they’re telling me they liked all that stuff. And then between the writing and the podcast, it’s kind of weird. I wrote three books and it went from getting into the lifestyle to marrying my husband. So I felt like the trilogy was kind of settled, even though my story still goes on like it went from being miserable single to happily married. And books are good, except I find now that so much time has passed. If I go back and read the book, I feel like somebody else wrote it because I’m so different from a book that I wrote many years ago. So the problem with a book is that once you write it, it’s always written that way. The podcast is kind of cool because I can give you current information about myself. I can tell you what’s true to the book and what’s changed since the book. So I kind of like the podcast because it’s a little more interactive and also I host it with my husband. It’s fun to have somebody else to talk to and get somebody else’s opinion about something. But you know, they’re all good for different things like the books are what started all of this. So I can’t forget about that. But since I wrote the third book, I’ve shifted and I haven’t written anything else lately. Sure. And it’s quite a lot of work to write a book. I honestly think only fans is so much more work. Is it really? Yes, writing was easy. At least you’re having sex. So that’s the good part about it. How do you feel about getting older now that you’re over 40? You know, I remember when I was, you know, teenage, 20s, that age, and people would say 40 is so old, right? We all remember hearing that you look at your parents like 40 is so old. Midlife crisis. It’s like over the hill. I feel better in my 40s than I have ever felt. I feel physically confident. Like I love the way I look. Since my 30s, I really took off like sexual wise and what I was like open to and being sexually confident. And in my 40s, it just continues to grow. There’s no slowing down right now. And I am one of those people. I am all natural. I never wear makeup. I have some gray hair that I don’t dye. Like I don’t give a shit. I like getting older. It doesn’t bother me. And I like being in my 40s because I feel like I could play with much younger guys and be a cougar. I could play with much older guys and be the younger girl. So it’s kind of a hot age to be sexually, I think. I think it’s a lot of fun. I also love the fact that now you’re seeing a lot of not just milk porn, but gilf porn. It’s hopeful because you can be a sexually active woman using your body for eternity. It feels like at this point, right? Like people aren’t saying, oh, you’re 50. You’re not hot. Like people want to see women that age having sex. So I think it’s really empowering and exciting. Tell me more about the Piedcast. What kind of guests do you have on? We don’t have any guests. So it’s just me and my husband and we’ll pick a different topic each week. And then we will talk about our individual experiences because I met him when he was single in the lifestyle and I was single. So we had very different viewpoints as a single female and a single male. And then we have stories from when we’ve been together. So it kind of makes it fun to see what we agree and disagree on. And we always try to have a mix of actual stories, like sexual things we’ve done with people and kind of add in the emotional and mental part. So why do we think we did these things? What did we like about it? We talk a lot about bad experiences that we’ve had. We’re very open about the fact that this is not an easy life to be in. You always have bad dates. You have struggles in your relationship and that’s totally fine. That’s part of the process. It’s just how you deal with it. So we’re not a podcast that is just like telling erotic stories 24/7. We’re kind of mixing it. I really enjoy being in that educational arena a little bit, just like my books. I want people to understand that if you’re going to get into this world, like you need to be mentally prepared for it. And just jump in and not think there’s ever going to be consequences. It sounds like it’s really more of an educational tool than anything. I would think someone who’s new in the lifestyle or considering the lifestyle could really get a lot out of that. That’s my hope. And even people that have been in the lifestyle for a while, I have a pretty wide background of stuff that I’ve tried and explored. So if you’ve been in the lifestyle but you’ve only done A and B, maybe I can tell you about C and D. There’s always something else to try. Right? I’ve been in the lifestyle for a long time and I’m still trying new things and I’m still learning new things. It’s kind of one of those things where even if you’ve done something I’ve talked about, I might have a different viewpoint on it or a different way of looking at it. So it could be interesting. But yeah, I definitely like to give a very realistic view of things. I don’t sugarcoat stuff and I don’t hide the flaws and the problems that are out there. Yeah. And it sounds like the whole Stag and Vixen thing can use a lot of explaining as well. Yes, definitely. That’s why I like having him on the show with me because it’s not me just rattling off all these things. You’re getting two sides of the story and also just having, like I said, a male, a female and a couple’s point of view. That’s three different angles that we could look at things. Now, you already told me you kind of shield this from your family. What about your friends? Do they know what you do for a living and if so, how do they feel about it? Like I said, we tell certain people. Some of them are fine with it. Some of them, they know the whole story. Some of them just know a little bit. So it really kind of depends. But we’re getting a lot more comfortable being open about it in the recent years. OK, tell me some of the reactions you get. A lot of people are just genuinely shocked. I think there is this image people have of what they think swingers will be like in real life. Yeah, all orgies and yeah. Yeah, I don’t think we fit the persona of what people would expect. We’re very low key. We’re very private. So when we tell people that, you know, they always like, oh, watch out for the quiet ones. Like we’re the quiet ones. So there just is this massive just like, holy shit, are you guys serious? And it takes a while for that to settle in. Some people go, oh, my God, that’s real. People actually do that in real life, not just the movies. You know, so there’s all different reactions that we get. We’ve had a few people that I wish we didn’t tell because they didn’t take it so well, but nothing you can do about that. It has changed some relationships. A little bit. Yeah. But at the end of the day, if you’re going to judge us from that, then me and my husband feel like, okay, maybe we weren’t really as close to you as we thought. So it kind of helps you weed out fake friends sometimes too in a weird way. Yes. You find out who your friends are in a number of different ways and one of the ways is by being yourself. Exactly. And we haven’t been busted by anybody like for having only fans or I spoke at Exotica this year. We didn’t run into anybody we knew because we were really bracing for that, you know, to be confronted with something. But yeah, right now it’s only been people that we’ve admitted it to. We haven’t been questioned by anybody, which is kind of nice to have that control over it. You haven’t been busted yet. I know. It’s coming one day. Oh boy, of course it’s on the internet. How did you get involved in nudism? Well, we had been in the lifestyle for a while and it’s kind of like customary. We live in New Jersey. Everybody goes to Gunnison Beach, the nude beach over here. And my husband and I had been there separately before we met and we both said we liked it. It was kind of cool. And then we started hearing people in the lifestyle kept telling us about these clothing optional resorts that they went to. And we love camping. We have an RV. You’re the one with the RV. Okay. Yeah, we were like, wait a minute, we could be doing this without our clothes on, really? You’re the one under 70 with the RV though. Yes. We’re always the young people. We hang out with a lot of older nudists when we go camping. I bet you do. A lot of wrinkles. Yeah, but it’s okay. We still like it. But we went one time just to see what it was like and then we just absolutely fell in love with it. And now we prefer nude camping to regular camping. Have you been to hedonism, by the way? We did. You know, I went once, but I have to tell you it was well before I was in this industry and my comfort level wasn’t that great with it. I was just looking to get laid basically, which didn’t work out that way. But I went during Christmas week and pretty much the only people that were there beside me were other Jews like me and a lot of very weird, frostbite Canadians. Anyway, the conversations in the hot tub were really interesting. I do have to say that though. How did you get involved with gangbanks? A guy that I was very good friends with that I was, you know, like a friends with benefits type of deal just kind of mentioned it to me. He said he had them for girls all the time and just wanted to know if I wanted to have one. At first I said no. I didn’t really think that was something of interest to me. And then of course enough time passed and I changed my mind and I was like, you know what, I think I’ll give this a whirl. And then I just fell in love with it. Interesting. What do you like about it? I like the chaos of it, if that makes sense. There’s just so many people and I like the fact that it prolongs the amount of play time because you know, some guys have incredible stamina. Then there’s the rest of us. Yeah, you know, a lot of girls can outlast a guy. So when you have multiple guys, it makes it like last much longer. So I like that part because I have a very good like stamina. I don’t really tire the guys drop like flies. So the more they are, the better they take a break. But also then you can start doing like crazier positions with multiple people that are really fun. So I just like the whole thing about it. And I also like this might sound funny, but I like watching how the guys interact with each other. Some of them are just like instant friends and they have a great time and you know, they’re talking about like who’s next, what position do you want? Like they work together really well. Who do you got in the Browns game on Sunday? It’s hilarious sometimes. And I wasn’t really prepared for that at first, but some of these guys are hilarious together. We had a gang bang one time that we went to the guys carpool together. Like it’s just so normal. So I like that mentality. I like the guys that just absolutely love the group dynamic and they want to bring their friends and it becomes this really social thing. But then you have guys that come to a gang bang and you’re like, I don’t think you belong here because you’re freaked out. If a guy gets too close to you, you’re not into any of the things that are happening, but they see it in porn or they hear about it. It’s like that would be hot, but not every guy is meant for that world. You know, it’s a specific type of guy. So when we get a really good group, it’s just so much fun. Yeah, I’m just not into penises. I like pussies much better. What’s your favorite sexual position? I love DV double vaginal double. Oh, two guys. Yeah, not DP DV. Yeah, got it. Yeah, I’m straight. I only play with guys one from the front, one from the back. Yeah, that’s my absolute favorite. Okay. So if you like fun for a girl, tell me about the sex room in your house. That’s what I got to hear about. Describe it for me. I think it’s like a 10 by 10 room and my husband actually had the room when he was single and that was part of how we met. A mutual friend was setting us up for a threesome and I lived an hour away from him and back then I was this magical unicorn. I was like, guys should be coming to me to see me. But because he had this playroom at his house that I heard about, I was like, okay, we’ll check this out and it’s completely mirrored. We have a swing, a couch, a bed and then like the liberator sex furniture. But along the walls, we have all types of chains bolted to the wall, the ceilings, all different kinds of paddles and cuffs and blindfold and pretty much anything you can need is in there. So it’s a lot of fun in there. Do you like the whole BDSM thing too? It’s funny. We’re kind of a little bit of everything. We’re into nudism. We’re into swinging. We’re into BDSM, but we’re not hardcore, you know, down any line. We kind of like to blend everything because in true like BDSM, a lot of times like they don’t have sex. They just do scenes and stuff like that. But if we’re doing anything like that, we’re definitely having sex with each other. Like we can’t not cross that line. Here’s hoping. Why is sex so important to you? I just think in a relationship, it’s super important to have that connection with somebody. I think it’s a great way to build trust and intimacy with your partner. But outside of a relationship, I think I learned so much about myself by having sex with a ton of people and that might not work for everybody out there. I’m not saying you should do that, but it really does teach you a lot about yourself. And I don’t know, I feel like it’s just this great thing that is underrated by a lot of people. And I remember a long time ago, I thought I would only be having sex with people that I was in long term relationships with. I was committed to, I was in love with. And then it turns out that like, I don’t even need to know your name to have sex with you. You know, I’ve become that person, which I really enjoy. I like that I can decide if sex is going to be really meaningful to me or it’s just going to be this random act that I take part in. I also think it’s just this great escape from reality, right? Whatever you’re doing when you’re having great sex, you’re not worried about any of your life problems. And I think it’s also interesting that sex is kind of this like common ground between a lot of people. You might not have the same political views, the same religion, the same nationality as somebody. You might not even speak the same language as them, but you could have sex with them. It’s a very weird thing to me. It’s the real international language. Right? Like if you think about that, you could have nothing else in common with somebody, but have amazing chemistry and great sex with them. And I just find that so fascinating. Sometimes the people that you think you’re going to have amazing sex with because they’re exactly your type and you can’t wait. The sex is horrible. And then other people, you’re like, I would never fuck that guy in a million years and then he rocks my world. So there’s also this element of surprise, which is crazy. I completely get it. Are you into girls too? No. Interesting. I’m kind of surprised actually, you seem to come across as someone who’s ended just about everything. Have you tried it? When I was in my early phases of life, so I did. And then I figured out that it just wasn’t for me. I’m just all about guys and cock. And that’s it. We think alike. Yes. And I’m all about girls. Yes. Now guys don’t, don’t interest me. What can I say? I mean, I gave friends, I don’t begrudge what they do. I don’t begrudge anyone for what they do in the bedroom, but it ain’t for me. That’s for damn sure. In the lifestyle though, there is this underlying pressure sometimes for girls to play with girls because it is so prevalent that when you find a straight girl, they almost don’t believe me. And I get a lot of like, oh, well, she can’t just go down on you or you can’t just kiss her. I’m like, no, I can’t. I don’t want to. It’s a hard time believing it sometimes because, you know, 95% of the girls in the lifestyle are playing with other girls. It’s bizarre sometimes, but a lot of people like almost don’t believe me or don’t respect that that’s a boundary that I have. They think it’s like not a big deal. And I’m just like, I’m good where I am, but thank you. This comes to mind. You’re in the lifestyle. You’re in a stag-inviction relationship, which is, I think I have an extreme part of the lifestyle. You do only fans, so you’re in porn as well. So you’re doing a lot of things that society looks down upon. How does society’s reaction to the things you do, how does that impact you? When I was younger, it made me very insecure, very embarrassed, very shameful. And I just had this massive moral dilemma and identity crisis. And then as I got older, it was kind of like, who really gives a shit anymore? Like I don’t care. And now that my husband is so, the funny thing about my husband is when he was in the lifestyle single, he never cared. He had his face out there. He didn’t hide it. So when I got together with him, I kind of, I guess it absorbed a little bit of that from him where he was like, why do you care? Like at the end of the day, as a team, it’s been very easy for me to be like, I don’t give a shit. I’m settled in my life. I was single and trying to find a boyfriend. I felt like that was a really big like bag of luggage that I was carrying around with me. And now because he’s okay with it and he’s in it too, it just kind of erases all of that negativity around it. You could just be yourself. That’s the key to life, I think, which I don’t think enough people understand that. What is the one sexual fantasy you’d still like to do? We do a lot of gangbang stuff, but I want to have one like all raw, no condoms, but that probably won’t happen for a very long time. It’s a little scary out there. I know it’s in your head. It sounds amazing, but realistically, I’m not there. Yeah, no, nor should you probably. That was something I was kind of curious about in the lifestyle. Do people normally wear condoms? It depends who you talk to. There are people whose profiles specifically say bareback play only. And then you have people that say condoms only. We’re a condoms only couple. So everybody we play with no matter how many times we’ve met you, like you’re using a condom. That’s just how it is with us. It varies. But there are a lot of people out there in the lifestyle that are really daring and brave and that’s good for them. Well, I hope it doesn’t come back to bite them on any part of their body. People are allowed to make whatever choices they want to make, but for us, that’s a no. Absolutely. I can’t say I don’t agree. I would be the same. Well, Casey, I’d like to thank you for being our guest today on Adults I Broker Talk. I loved it and I hope we’ll get a chance to do this again soon. Thank you so much for having me. Hey, it was a pleasure. That was awesome. My broker tip today is part six of how to buy a site. Last week we talked about the sales agreement. So now both you and the seller have signed the agreement. What comes next? There needs to be an escrow setup where you send the money, whether it be a one time payment or a deposit if you’re going to be making payments. The seller for their part puts the assets of the sale into escrow, namely the domains being sold and any other tangible assets. Your attorney can give you more information on that. We recommend escrow domains for escrows. They’re a firm out of Washington, DC and no, they’re not paying me to say this. I just use them, trust them and am delighted by the work they’ve done for us. Either an escrow agreement will be drawn up by them in the case of a custom escrow, or if it’s a simple one, it can be done right on their website. Then you, the buyer, the seller and the broker will be contacted by escrow domains with further instructions such as wiring information. The escrow is opened and either the deal closes within a matter of days or an inspection period is allowed. It all depends on what the agreement calls for. Whether you need an inspection period really depends on whether there’s still some information you need to find out prior to the deal closing. Your broker and your attorney can advise you more on this and it’s on a case by case basis. Then the money is transferred as are the domains and the deal is closed. Now in many cases, in fact, most of the time, the seller either stays on board for a period of time to help with the transition or is at least available on an uncalled basis to answer questions. This is something most buyers should ask for. But at this point, you pretty much own the website. What do you do now? We’ll talk about that subject more next week. And next week we’ll be speaking with Scott Johnson of XXX Job interviews. And that’s it for this week’s Adult Site Broker Talk. I’d once again like to thank my guest, Casey Donatello. Talk to you again next week on Adult Site Broker Talk. I’m Bruce Friedman. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]